Posted on 12/16/2017 6:55:08 AM PST by blam
I'm just amazed that it took this many posts for someone to state the obvious.....
A woman who comments quite extensively on marriage and sexuality is Juli Slattery (Focus on the Family). There is a lot of wisdom and common sense in what she says… here is what she says at this link about the difference between men and women (and in the context of her piece, the difference between wives and husbands)….she is directly speaking to women in this article…. http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/sex-and-intimacy/understanding-your-husbands-sexual-needs/sex-is-a-physical-need
One of the biggest differences between you and your husband is the fact that he experiences sex as a legitimate physical need. Just as your body tells you when you're hungry, thirsty, or tired, your husband's body tells him when he needs a sexual release. Your husband's sexual desire is impacted by what's around him but is determined by biological factors, specifically the presence of testosterone in his body.
Immediately after sexual release, men are physically satisfied. But as their sexual clock ticks on, sexual thoughts become more prevalent, and they are more easily aroused. The physical need for sexual release intensifies as sperm builds in the testicles. The body continues to produce and store sperm, although sperm production fluctuates based on levels of testosterone and the frequency of sexual release.
The best way for a woman to understand this dynamic is to relate it to another physiological need. If you've had a baby, you may relate to the experience of milk building up in your breasts a few days after giving birth. The buildup of breast milk becomes annoying (and even painful) until the milk is expressed. You may have even had the embarrassing experience of leaking breast milk when it was not expressed. A male's semen buildup is sometimes released through nocturnal emissions if it is not otherwise relieved. Just as with breast milk, sperm production tends to "keep up with demand." The more often a man has sex, the more semen his body is likely to produce.
As women, we don't experience the physiological drive for sex in this same way. There is no buildup that demands release. Instead, hormonal fluctuations drive our sexuality. Female sexual hormones are largely determined by two factors: the female reproductive cycle (menstruation, ovulation, pregnancy, menopause, etc.) and a part of the brain called the hypothalamus.
A woman's sexual desire is far more connected to emotions than her husband's sex drive is. A man can experience sexual arousal apart from any emotional attachment. He can look at a naked woman and feel intense physical desire for her, while at the same time he may be completely devoted to and in love with his wife. For most women, this just doesn't compute. A fundamental difference in the wiring of male and female sexuality is that men can separate sex from a relationship while for a woman, the two are usually intertwined.
We are now living in a society where women never grew up being taught anything about what Juli Slattery is talking about... and why it is essential that how women dress fit what the Bible calls 'modesty'. While there many ways that men and women can be sexually stimulated, ‘visual stimulation’ is the essentially the first level…..what women are essentially saying by wearing highly revealing clothing in say an office environment is “I will do what I want to sexually stimulate you but if you do anything to act on that stimulation, I will scream sexual harassment.” Since the sexual stimulation of a man happens just as quickly, naturally and as much outside one's control as fighting for air when’s one breathing is cut off, men are put into a can’t win situation. So… does that fit the definition of sexual harassment? I think it does….
ROFL!!!
“Could I sue her for sexual harassment??? “
Only if you are a metro virgin democrat guy still living at home.
Laughing might OK. But POINTING and laughing ... that might be a problem. ;)
“I am not sure I entirely disagree with this.”
Me, too. Women who wear revealing clothing are inviting something for sure, even if it’s just attention. There’s good attention and bad attention.
Interesting analogy. I agree. You can be a “stupid victim” and deserve to hold some level of responsibility, while not excusing the perpetrator. To the extreme; really hot girl goes to seedy bar, all drunk men, gets drunk herself, and starts to “flash”, expecting all hands will be kept to themselves....becomes “shocked” when they don’t.
It appears that today kissing somebody when you didn’t ask permission beforehand is a really dangerous thing, even if you thought it would be obviously welcomed. Two people who realize they have an attraction do this all the time. Now men, and only men it appears, are being held to subjective “rules” that, if broken, can destroy them.
Our society can’t survive this...which is probably the goal for some. So while we engage in this stupidity, our Islamic communities breed like rabbits and will, eventually, replace our ethics to the opposite. Congratulations feminists!
There’s attention and then there’s sexual attention.....women who show their boobs etc are looking or sexual attention..
“...women who wear revealing clothing often create an “invitation” to sexual harassment.
More accurately:
“Women who wear revealing clothing are often sexually harassing others by doing so.”
I don’t know where all this “revealing clothing” stuff is coming from. The most revealing clothing I ever see are jeans, tennies and down jackets. I’d faint if I saw heels.
THAT'S old school right there.
“Therefore the premise: if you wouldn’t (whatever) with a male coworker, you shouldn’t with a female coworker.”
Problem with that theory is 99.999% of anything I say with any male coworker will get me sent to the firing squad if said when female coworkers are even in the room. And I never even talk about anything sexual.
Because you are looking in that direction???
I once saw a secretary in a VERY short miniskirt. I was shocked. I was even more shocked when the business owner introduced me to her, as his DAUGHTER.
“Invite Sexual Harassment”
It’s safe to say they’re inviting something. We all do things that are subtle invitations.
Here’s something from “The Age of Innocence”: But there was about her the mysterious authority of beauty.
Guess you never worked in a big corporation in the 90s. We got "evil man training" which has over time morphed into annual "evil white man training". And so many wasted hours all started with Anita Hill.
Breaking the Code: Marcy aint getting any.
Is the federal government a big enough “corporation”? There was a smattering of that crap going on but fortunately I got out in mid-90’s before it took off too bad.
Or because she wants men to look in that direction? It’s called advertising........
They want the attention, but only from men of their choosing. They want the law to ensure they are able to dress for the auction, but only attract bids from qualified buyers. :)
My inner 13 year old keeps taking over.
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