My husband will help if I tell him to do something, otherwise it flies right over his head. I stayed home for 10 years and raised our sons until the last one went to school. Then went to work and still had to do everything at home. That was my own fault, I should have smacked him upside the head but it was just easier to do it than have to “draw a picture” basically. I take meds for that all now.
No, darling. Throw out the meds and just stop doing his laundry, calling his relatives, or cooking for two. Microwave yourself a meal and tell him to get his own supper. Don’t shop for him, go anywhere with him or do anything for him until he is willing to come to the bargaining table. Arrive there with a comprehensive list of all household chores and a chart of who will be responsible for which, and what the consequences will be if they are not done. Don’t do it with anger or vengefulness, but with cool indifference, like it is a business meeting. Because it is.