Thank you, I suppose, lol?
Not enough tortured, self-conscious verbosity.
2016 winner:
“Even from the hall, the overpowering stench told me the dingy caramel glow in his office would be from a ten-thousand-cigarette layer of nicotine baked on a naked bulb hanging from a frayed wire in the center of a likely cracked and water-stained ceiling, but I was broke, he was cheap, and I had to find her.”
-William “Barry” Brockett of Tallahassee, Florida