Posted on 06/22/2017 12:04:45 PM PDT by re_tail20
I am a registered liberal who mostly toes the party line but I am not devoted to the idea of big government. I loathe the law in New York state requiring gas pump nozzles to not latch. This means that I must stand beside my vehicle, holding the nozzle lever open, instead of latching it and walking into the gas station to use the john which, if you're an older male and hear gushing liquid, you feel a powerful urge to do, so thanks to legislative over-regulation, I am on the verge of humiliating myself.
Liberals believe in universal suffrage, but I don't think the right to vote should be extended to people walking around with wires going into their ears. If you need to walk through the world in a state of stupefaction, you don't belong in a democracy. The ballot should belong to people who pay attention.
I have other strong conservative tendencies: I accept limitations as inevitable, even sometimes futility. I once gave a very funny speech in the chapel of an Ivy League college and my voice went ricocheting around the Gothic arches and came back to me 15 seconds later and it was incomprehensible, even to me whose voice it was. I might as well have been speaking Navajo. Nobody laughed. I did not complain to authorities. I was amused. Stuff happens.
Life is unfair. The National Endowment for the Arts bestows pots of gold on poets, chickenfeed on humorists, and so what? The federal government is responsible for the announcement in airports warning you to report to authorities any stranger who asks you to carry an object aboard an aircraft. It's like telling people to report any sightings of unicorns. But who cares? Not I.
All around Washington stand handsome temples housing the ABA,...
(Excerpt) Read more at chicagotribune.com ...
What is a registered liberal?
The author of this piece is below average.
I thought he was dead.
GK would actually leave the gas pump operating and go find a bath room? Not wise, reckless endangerment actually. And the way he thinks conservatives think. GK is a fool.
He used to be funny, 40 or 50 years ago.
I thought he was dead. He certainly looks like a corpse.
New York must feel they need a law prohibiting gas nozzles latching because New Yorkers may be stupid enough to walk off and leave the pump unattended during fueling.
Classic Garrison Keillor, you read pages of mindless train-of-thought gibberish to finally get to the point of his opus, and then when you do you are sorry you bothered.
What a bunch of incoherent, egocentric drivel.
Huh?
+++++
Republicans, beware. The tables will turn. We liberals will regain power by the simple method of redistricting. We will incorporate the Dakotas, Montana, Idaho, Wyoming, and Utah into California, and usher in a hundred years of progressivism. What goes around comes around. Be wise.
“What is a registered liberal?”
A lib who has a parole officer?
LOL!
I can’t even...
He wants people who think it’s okay to walk away from a running gas hose to be in charge of this once great country
Haha...schadenfreude sucks for GK, eh?
“...so thanks to legislative over-regulation, I am on the verge of humiliating myself.”
No, you’re doing a fine job on your own with your writing. Peeing yourself would actually be less embarrassing.
Oxymoron with the emphasis on MORON!
“Republicans, beware. The tables will turn. We liberals will regain power by the simple method of redistricting. We will incorporate the Dakotas, Montana, Idaho, Wyoming, and Utah into California, and usher in a hundred years of progressivism. What goes around comes around. Be wise. The Senate majority staffers who are trying to put lipstick on a cruel House health care bill are spitting into the wind. In 20 years, Obamacare will be gone, replaced by universal Medicare, and you will be employed as carnival workers, running the kiddie rides, and you’ll stop for gas in New York and remember this column and ask yourselves, “Why didn’t we listen to him then?” Well, why don’t you?”
If dreaming like this keeps you feeling good, Garrison, then by all means keep it up.
Garrison...Go.. to Lake Wobegone and take a long walk off a short pier, you fruity looking POS
I thought so too. wish he wasn’t wasting so much air by talking.
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