"Aliens Are Our Brothers" Says Vatican (Who Attacked Trump During Campaign)

We don't usually cover straight-up news as such here on the floss, but this particular item was so out there -- and so geeky at the same time -- I just couldn't let it fall through the cracks. For the first time ever, Vatican astronomers have admitted the possibility -- even the probability -- of intelligent life on other planets.

Vatican official Father Gabriel Funes, a respected astronomer in his own right, released an article titled, literally, Aliens Are My Brother, detailing various extraterrestrial scenarios as they relate to Christian theology.

He compares the potential multiplicity of life forms in the universe to that here on Earth, and goes on to speculate that such alien life forms could even be "free from Original Sin ... [remaining] in full friendship with their creator." (In short, expect to hear lots more conspiracy theories about how Jesus and the angels were aliens in the near future.)

But it's not just the Catholic Church that has aliens on the brain -- also this week, the British government released years' worth of newly-declassified documents pertaining to UFO sightings in British airspace. "The Ministry of Defence does not deny that there are strange things to see in the sky," one internal memo explains, "but it certainly has no evidence that alien spacecraft have landed on this planet." (Suuuure, guys.)

You can check out the newly-released records here, the most hilarious bits of which, in our opinion, are the vigorous and exceedingly formal tiffs between various dukes, lords and viscounts in the British House of Lords regarding UFOs, like this one:

lords.jpgViscount Long: My Lords, if the Noble Earl is suspicious that the Ministry of Defence is covering up in any way, I can assure him ... the sole interest of the MoD in UFO reports is to establish whether they reveal anything of defence interest.

Lord Wynne-Jones: My Lords, does the Answer given mean that since there has been a Conservative Government the UFOs have done a U-turn and departed?

The Earl of Kimberley: My Lords, as my noble friend said that 600 UFOs had been officially reported or acknowledged by the MoD in 1984, may I ask him how many of those sightings still remain unidentified?

Viscount Long: My Lords, we do not have the figures. They disappeared into the unknown before we got them.

Lord Hill-Norton: My Lords, may I ask the noble Viscount whether or not it is true that all of the sighting reports received by the MoD before 1962 were destroyed because they were deemed "to be of no interest"? And if it is true, who was it who decided that they were of no interest?"

Viscount Long: My Lords, my reply to the noble and gallant Lord -- I was wondering whether he was going to say the the Royal Navy had many times seen the Loch Ness monster -- is that since 1967 all UFO reports have been preserved.

Mary is not a rival to, or substitute for, Jesus.

Strange; since Jesus is only mentioned in 2 of the 15 'promises'; #13 & #14; and THEN only being referred to as HER son.

It's all Me, me, I and my.

1. me
2. I my
3.
4.
5. me
6.
7.
8.
9.   I
10.
11. me
12. me
13. I my
14. my
15. my

The 15 promises

(Given to St. Dominic and Blessed Alan de la Roche)

1	Whoever shall faithfully serve me by the recitation of the Rosary, shall receive powerful graces.
2.	I promise my special protection and the greatest graces to all those who shall recite the Rosary.
3.	The Rosary shall be a powerful armor against hell, it will destroy vice, decrease sin, and defeat heresies
4.	It will cause virtue and good works to flourish; it will obtain for souls the abundant mercy of God; it will withdraw the hearts of people from the love of the world and its vanities, and will lift them to the desire of eternal things. Oh, that souls would sanctify themselves by this means.
5.	The soul which recommends itself to me by the recitation of the Rosary, shall not perish.
6.	Whoever shall recite the Rosary devoutly, applying Himself to the consideration of its Sacred Mysteries shall never be conquered by misfortune. God will not chastise Him in His justice, he shall not perish by an unprovided death; if he be just, he shall remain in the grace of God, and become worthy of eternal life.
7.	Whoever shall have a true devotion for the Rosary shall not die without the Sacraments of the Church.
8.	Those who are faithful to recite the Rosary shall have during their life and at their death the light of God and the plentitude of His graces; at the moment of death they shall participate in the merits of the Saints in Paradise.
9.	I shall deliver from purgatory those who have been devoted to the Rosary.
10.	The faithful children of the Rosary shall merit a high degree of glory in Heaven.
11.	You shall obtain all you ask of me by the recitation of the Rosary.
12.	All those who propagate the Holy Rosary shall be aided by me in their necessities.
13.	I have obtained from my Divine Son that all the advocates of the Rosary shall have for intercessors the entire celestial court during their life and at the hour of death
14.	All who recite the Rosary are my children, and brothers and sisters of my only Son, Jesus Christ.
15.	Devotion of my Rosary is a great sign of predestination.

"The Most Holy Virgin in these last times in which we live has given a new efficacy to the recitation of the Rosary to such an extent that there is no problem,

no matter how difficult it is, wheter temporal or above all spiritual, in the personal life of each one of us, of our families...that cannot be solved by the Rosary.

There is no problem, I tell you, no matter how difficult it is, that we cannot resolve by the prayer of the Holy Rosary."

Sister Lucia dos Santos

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