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Labour wins after Diane Abbott counts the votes [UK's Maxine Waters]
News Thump ^ | 05 May 2017

Posted on 05/06/2017 4:38:31 PM PDT by Lorianne

Labour is expected to gain more than eighty million seats after Diane Abbott was asked to count the votes this morning.

Speaking in that breathy, slightly creepy way she has, Abbott declared a huge landslide for Labour across the country – with the Conservatives and SNP facing ‘complete wipeout’ based on her figures.

Labour is expected to gain more than eighty million seats after Diane Abbott was asked to count the votes this morning.

Speaking in that breathy, slightly creepy way she has, Abbott declared a huge landslide for Labour across the country – with the Conservatives and SNP facing ‘complete wipeout’ based on her figures.

“Thanks to Diane’s remarkable command of mathematics, Labour have swept to victory with well over 100% of the vote nationwide,” we were told.

“We believe that the birds of the air and the fishes of the seas came forth to cast their vote for him; it’s the only way her maths can be correct.

“She says now we’ve seized the country she’ll be working up her calculations on how we can turn the observable universe into nurses and policemen for 40p each.”

When told that Labour had actually lost, Diane said she wasn’t one hundred and eleventy billion percent certain of the actual numbers but she was confident events would prove her right.


TOPICS: Foreign Affairs; Government
KEYWORDS: satire

1 posted on 05/06/2017 4:38:31 PM PDT by Lorianne
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To: Lorianne

Satire? Or Video Link?


2 posted on 05/06/2017 4:43:23 PM PDT by PJBankard
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To: PJBankard

I think it’s pretty obviously satire.

Then again, these days, the truth is more far out than we expected satire to be.


3 posted on 05/06/2017 4:47:40 PM PDT by PapaBear3625 (Big government is attractive to those who think that THEY will be in control of it.)
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To: PJBankard
In real news, BBC reports Labour lost 382 seats nationwide, with the Conservative party posting big gains.
4 posted on 05/06/2017 4:51:04 PM PDT by PapaBear3625 (Big government is attractive to those who think that THEY will be in control of it.)
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To: PapaBear3625

From her previous interviews I could see her saying something as outlandishly stupid as this, my concern is that it isn’t marked as satire or in the proper forum if it is satire.


5 posted on 05/06/2017 4:51:47 PM PDT by PJBankard
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To: PJBankard

She’s stupid as hell, but it’s racist to laugh at her.


6 posted on 05/06/2017 4:52:23 PM PDT by Tea Party Terrorist (Why work for a living when you can vote for a living?)
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To: Lorianne

Real local election results posted on Wiki

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Kingdom_local_elections,_2017

Conservatives won big.


7 posted on 05/06/2017 4:54:39 PM PDT by PapaBear3625 (Big government is attractive to those who think that THEY will be in control of it.)
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To: Lorianne

Hmmm

Reads like the old ‘TASS’ headlines
(US vs Russia in track meet— US wins))

TASS-

Russia hangs on to finish a close second, while US comes in next to last.


8 posted on 05/06/2017 4:57:51 PM PDT by xrmusn ((6/98)""No such thing as holding your own-You are either moving forward or backward. Where are you?")
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To: Lorianne
I watch the BBC News fairly regularly.Within the last week or so there was a story in which she told an interviewer that it would cost a few hundred thousand pounds to hire something like 20,000 additional police.The interviewer said something like "well,they certainly won't be making much of a salary" she became very flustered,making excuses,etc.

IOW she displayed a complete ignorance of simple arithmetic...the stuff we learned in 3rd Grade.

9 posted on 05/06/2017 5:38:08 PM PDT by Gay State Conservative (Deplorables' Lives Matter)
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To: Lorianne

eighty million seats ?


10 posted on 05/06/2017 5:43:16 PM PDT by butlerweave
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To: Lorianne

Eighty million seats...

Considering the uk has about 60-some million people, thats pretty good. :)


11 posted on 05/06/2017 5:51:12 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man ( Gone Galt; Not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: Tea Party Terrorist
She’s stupid as hell, but it’s racist to laugh at her.

Oh yeah? Well this is Merica 2017 and I self identified as Black while I was laughing!

12 posted on 05/06/2017 6:52:17 PM PDT by Mastador1 (I'll take a bad dog over a good politician any day!)
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To: PapaBear3625

“Conservatives won big.”

That’s impossible, I haven’t heard of cities being burnt to the ground by raving leftists yet


13 posted on 05/06/2017 7:08:18 PM PDT by dsrtsage (One half of all people have below average IQ. In the US the number is 54%)
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To: Lorianne

Hey, it works for Maxine Waters .... seemingly so stupid it is considered brilliant in Progressive circles.


14 posted on 05/06/2017 7:12:46 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet (Dan Rather, a 60 Minutes Investigative Reporter for CBS, invented "Fake News"-fake but accurate.)
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To: Mastador1

Post of the weekend!


15 posted on 05/07/2017 1:34:42 AM PDT by indcons (Ban the Council of Khalistan & cancel their FARA status)
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To: Lorianne

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/diane-abbott-local-elections-labour-interview-losses-understates-a7720356.html


16 posted on 05/07/2017 1:46:05 AM PDT by RightGeek (FUBO and the donkey you rode in on)
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To: Lorianne

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/05/05/diane-abbott-suffers-another-disastrous-interview-massively/


17 posted on 05/07/2017 1:49:32 AM PDT by RightGeek (FUBO and the donkey you rode in on)
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