I was in the Army and I truly believe I invented “Don’t ask, don’t tell.”
I was in a company meeting and had just returned from Viet Nam.
We were in the Company break room and I, being and NCO, wandered in.
I was asked where my room mate, another Nam ‘Vet was. It was a Company meeting, after all.
I replied that I had no idea where he might be, him a combat veteran NCO.
The Sgt. then asked if he (room mate) was gay. (He did a lot of weed...)
I replied “I would be the last to know.”
I think that’s the best answer.
Sometimes people asking that question aren’t the best people to open up to about someone else’ lifestyle.