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How to Make Money on the Carbon Exchanges (semi-satire)
None | March 28, 2017 | Self

Posted on 03/28/2017 8:05:08 PM PDT by Jess Kitting

1. Start a company.

2. Register your company as a "member firm" on the carbon exchange.

3. Do nothing.

4. Produce nothing.

5. Above all, use NO Energy!

6. Over the course of time, you will accumulate carbon "credits" because your company is not using energy or polluting the environment.

7. You can then turn and sell your carbon credits to other companies that are polluting the environment, e.g. factories, airlines, automakers.

8. Contact those "polluting" companies and shame them into buying your carbon credits at a premium, or a "discount" depending on how you choose to market them.

9. When you sell all your carbon credits, start another company, then another, then another, following the same steps as above.

10. Soon you will be selling a whole lot of nothing on an artificial market to people gullible enough to believe that these ridiculous schemes actually help combat "global warming" or some other man-made monstrosity that they must pretend to be concerned about.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: carbonscheme
How to make "cap and trade" work for you.
1 posted on 03/28/2017 8:05:08 PM PDT by Jess Kitting
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To: Jess Kitting

Thnx, I never could understand how ManBearPig made his Sta$h.


2 posted on 03/28/2017 8:07:42 PM PDT by Paladin2 (No spellcheck. It's too much work to undo the auto wrong word substitution on mobile devices.)
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To: Jess Kitting

NEWS?

Really?


3 posted on 03/28/2017 8:09:44 PM PDT by ButThreeLeftsDo (MAGA!!!)
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To: Jess Kitting

4 posted on 03/28/2017 8:10:04 PM PDT by ponygirl (An Appeal to Heaven)
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To: Jess Kitting

Wooo hooo, free money. How do I sign up?


5 posted on 03/28/2017 8:19:28 PM PDT by taxcontrol (,)
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To: Paladin2

Algore started with lots of shares in Occidental Oil.


6 posted on 03/28/2017 8:21:47 PM PDT by TigersEye (President Trump is not a politician.)
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To: taxcontrol

Money for nothing, chicks for free.


7 posted on 03/28/2017 8:24:37 PM PDT by The_Media_never_lie (Parroting fake news is highly profitable for some.)
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To: taxcontrol

Ask harry reid- supposedly he’s made millions off the scam


8 posted on 03/28/2017 8:25:19 PM PDT by Bob434
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To: Jess Kitting

After I am dead and gone, I hope that the climate changers and global warmers are successful in removing all carbon, carbon dioxide, and nitrogen from the atmosphere. And leave the atmosphere 90% oxygen.


9 posted on 03/28/2017 8:26:38 PM PDT by sport
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To: The_Media_never_lie
Lemme tell ya them guys ain't dumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb
10 posted on 03/28/2017 8:43:53 PM PDT by BipolarBob (I've wasted enough time eating mushrooms and conversing with hookah smoking caterpillars.)
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To: Jess Kitting

It’s the AlBore business model. He has done very well with it.


11 posted on 03/29/2017 2:11:15 AM PDT by fella ("As it was before Noah so shall it be again,")
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