The reason it took so long is because the pneumonia hadn’t quite cleared up, took awhile till that was gone- and they couldn’t do the xrays and scans until that was out of the way- the way they explained it was that cancer will sometimes form underneath pneumonia- and scans and stuff won’t be able to distinguish too well- then after the biopsies didn’t show cancer cells, (which doc said could have ‘just missed the cells when biopsying) i had to wait to see if the spots would diminish- two months for the first re-scan=- Yuck- but it was encouraging when the spots were shrinking
during the wait though- I found myself reflecting on death quite a bit- being fairly young- it was kind of a shock to think it might happen if they couldn’t get what we thought was the cancer under control- I found my attitude about a lot of things changed quite a bit- things i thought were important were no longer a priority- I didn’t think I’d ever get feeling contemplative about death if I ever got sick- I was wrong- I did- but thankfully it was not to be-
I had watched my elderly friend go from being very interested in the goings on in the world to where he just basically shrugged and said “I don’t worry about things anymore” and I remember thinking “How can you not care? This is important” (issues like Second amendment- first amendment etc)- He’d always been very passionate about such things- but now I know why he got like he did- priorities really do change when faced with death- I guess being scared has a lot to do with it- feeling awful does too-
Yup- that 30% you faced- that is kinda a high percentage- ‘good percentages’ I consider down around 10-12% or so and below- Anything above that and I’m a somewhat pessimistic personality, and causes me to worry too much 30% woulda had me curled up in fetal position-
Fetal position, lol. I just ate day and night! My typical stress response.
Sounds like you had an INTENSE And life changing episode, my friend.
I am glad all turned out well.
Sometimes I find myself arguing and yelling and getting sick about politics and sometimes it hits me, in 30 or 40 years, (who knows really!) I won’t be part of this Movie anymore. :)
And I take a step back.