Sounds like the beginning of a novel to me.
“”It was a dark and stormy night.......etc etc
“Don’t you worry, honey”
I sneered as I tore open a Deck of Camels.....
Straight out of Micky Spillane....
It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out! I looked up and saw a "Make America Great Again" poster on the lamp post I just smacked my head into while playing "Pokemon Go"...