Obama to apologize for USA Olympic victories (a satire)

Arutz Sheva ^ | 8/21/16 | Jack Engelhard

[Lera]

Every satire has a ring of truth...

If not for Jamaican Usain Bolt, the United States would've walked home with every gold medal that wasn't nailed down in Rio.

USA doubled the score against the rest of the world in nearly every event save for ping-pong.

Isn't that great, Mr. President? We've trounced them fair and square.

USA doubled the score against the rest of the world in nearly every event save for ping-pong (and that's not satire). "Micro aggression is the term we use in Liberal circles. Now I have no choice except to beg the world to forgive us for such colonialist behavior."

What about American exceptionalism?

"We call it greed. I'll apologize for that, too."

But Americans keep chanting USA. USA. USA. Pride. Patriotism?

"Trigger words. That's not who we are. What about Iran?"

What about it, sir?

"Did we beat them in anything at the Olympics?"

Everything.

"Send them another $150 billion, with my apologies."

Under what category?

"Find some excuse. We always do. Or ask Hillary." Mrs. Clinton, aren't you thrilled about our performance at the Olympics?

"What difference does it make?"

We're winners.

[Lera]

[[Hey, how about that Michael Phelps, Mr. President? What’s the word for all those gold medals he’s won for Team USA?

“White privilege.”]]

I <3 Jack Engelhard's humor (so worth reading the entire piece)

[LittleBillyInfidel]

“You girls didn’t build that track. The Brazilian government did. Now excuse me while I issue extradition papers on Mr. Lochte.” - B-HO

[mountainlion]

Yes it is true that barry can't stand anything he can't accomplish, success for instance. The failure of obamacarE is just one example.

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[Lera]

[[“You girls didn’t build that track. The Brazilian government did. Now excuse me while I issue extradition papers on Mr. Lochte.” - B-HO]]

Nailed it lol

[Peter ODonnell]

Meanwhile, from Canada ... about those medals we won ...

SORRY.

[Gumdrop]

Well, our gymnasts were so good they outscored their next rivals by 8-9 whole points [when winning and losing is measured in decimal to the 3rd place.]

I think our Gymnasts ought to forfeit one of our top 2 gymnasts to Russia so the competition is fairer. After all these gals ‘did not earn that all on their own’. The Ruskies could draw straws and short straw, they get Simone Biles and long straw they get Aly Raisman.

It is really only fair.