http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/chuck-norris-top-50-facts
Some of my favs:
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris once smoked a cigarette. The cigarette got cancer.
Chuck Norris used to post on FR as Libbylu.
Yeah I went there.
I also heard Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris doesn’t speak to liberals.
He shuffles his feet and then the Earth rotates tectonically beneath them, bringing liberals willy-nilly into his presence, where he stares them down until they agree that every citizen has the right to own firearms and to drive the car of his choice.