“When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.”
- Steven Wright
To: Internal Revenue Service, Department of the Treasury Washington, DC 20001
Enclosed is my 2016 Form 1040, together with payment. Please take note of the attached newspaper article. In the article, you will note that the Pentagon paid $171.50 each for hammers and NASA paid $600.00 each for toilet seats.
Please find enclosed in this package four toilet seats (value $2,400.00) and six hammers (value $1,029.00). This is in payment for my total tax due of $3,429.00.
Out of a sense of patriotic duty, and to assist in the political purification of our government, I am also enclosing a 1.5 inch Phillips head screw, for which HUD duly recorded and approved a purchase value of $22.00, as my contribution to fulfill the Presidential Election Fund option on Form 1040.
It has been a pleasure to pay my taxes this year, and I look forward to paying them again next year in accordance with officially established government values.
Sincerely,
Another satisfied taxpayer
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
-Steven Wright