(heavy sigh) OK; what can the United States Health and Wellbeing Service do for you?
Patient: Could someone HELP me with this?
Receptionist: LOOK! I get paid to ask you "What can the United States Health and Wellbeing Service do for you?" NOT baby sit your problems! You should have brought in a caregiver if you needed help!!
Patient: But I didn't know...
Receptionist: OK, ok, ok... I'll read them to you; but do NOT let anyone else in the waiting room know.
Patient: All right.
Receptionist: 1. Have you followed the United States Health and Wellbeing Service Guideline for Good Health rules and regulations?
Patient: I think so.
Receptionist: Yes or No!
Patient: Uh; yes.
Receptionist: 2. HAve you exercized the correct hours each day, as prescribed by the United States Health and Wellbeing Service Guideline for Good Health rules and regulations?
Patient: Yes.
Receptionist: 3. have you eaten the correct amount of fruit, as prescribed by the United States Health and Wellbeing Service Guideline for Good Health rules and regulations?
Patient: Yes.
Receptionist: 4. Have you drunk the correct fluids, as prescribed by the United States Health and Wellbeing Service Guideline for Good Health rules and regulations?
Patient: Yes.
Receptionist: 5. Have you had sex, in the authorized positions, as prescribed by the United States Health and Wellbeing Service Guideline for Good Health rules and regulations?
Patient: WHAT???
Receptionist: 5. Have you had sex, in the ...
Patient: I HEARD THAT!!! What!!??!!
Receptionist: Sigh; did you NOT receive the update from the United States Health and Wellbeing Service that amended the Guideline for Good Health rules and regulations - Rev 13.69?
Patient: uh; I only have a copy that is Rev 13.68...
Receptionist: Ah... there's your problem. Since you've NOT followed the Guideline for Good Health rules and regulations COMPLETELY; it is evident that you have made yourSELF sick; and we at the United States Health and Wellbeing Service only treat those who have gotten sick from FOLLOWING the rules.
Patient: But...
Receptionist: Next!!!