Being a modern man today is no different than it was a century ago. It’s all about adhering to principle...1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.
Who buys shoes for their spouse? I always make sure I get the correct size lingerie.
8. The modern man uses the proper names for things. For example, he’ll say “helicopter,” not “chopper” like some gauche simpleton.
I prefer to use the term scattergun, if it means I'm a simpleton, then so be it.
9. Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day.
Having a son means his organs will be a closer match to mine should the need arise and what other reason would I want kids for?
10. The modern man makes sure the dishes on the rack have dried completely before putting them away.
I use modern conveniences like a dishwasher whether it's a machine or the little woman, it gets done.
12. The modern man checks the status of his Irish Spring bar before jumping in for a wash. Too small, it gets swapped out.
Lava is gentle-er.
13. The modern man listens to Wu-Tang at least once a week.
It's slowly dawning on me that this has to be satire.
16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.
That is a tactical blunder as I plan to use the wife as a shield.
20. On occasion, the modern man is the little spoon. Some nights, when he is feeling down or vulnerable, he needs an emotional and physical shield.
What does this even mean?
25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.
I have no need of a Ferrari, yet I want one.
26. The modern man cries. He cries often.
No.
27. People aren’t sure if the modern man is a good dancer or not. That is, until the D.J. plays his jam and he goes out there and puts on a clinic.
Does he mean free clinic and boy do I have a story behind that.
What does this even mean?It refers to "spooning," i.e. snuggling/sleeping lovers lay on their sides with her back against his belly and his arms around her. The name "spooning" comes from the fact that the couple are like spoons nestled in a drawer. It's one of the most sublime pleasures that God has bestowed upon our poor wretched species.
I've never heard the participant in this activity described as "big spoon" and "little spoon," although I can understand the labels.
So the man being the "little spoon" means that the couple lies with the man's back against the woman's belly and her arms around him.
