Posted on 10/01/2015 5:59:43 AM PDT by 1010RD
Being a modern man today is no different than it was a century ago. It’s all about adhering to principle...
1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.
8. The modern man uses the proper names for things. For example, he’ll say “helicopter,” not “chopper” like some gauche simpleton.
9. Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day.
10. The modern man makes sure the dishes on the rack have dried completely before putting them away.
12. The modern man checks the status of his Irish Spring bar before jumping in for a wash. Too small, it gets swapped out.
13. The modern man listens to Wu-Tang at least once a week.
16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.
20. On occasion, the modern man is the little spoon. Some nights, when he is feeling down or vulnerable, he needs an emotional and physical shield.
25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.
26. The modern man cries. He cries often.
27. People aren’t sure if the modern man is a good dancer or not. That is, until the D.J. plays his jam and he goes out there and puts on a clinic.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.
25A. The Modern Man And His Family Have A Shorter Than Normal Life Expectancy
“For example, he’ll say “helicopter,” not “chopper”.
It is just Helo to me. Oh and there is no way I am buying shoes for my wife. I wish I had more guns and more ammo. And a new Truck.
I use Lava when working in the steel plants but now I make my own with hog fat and lye. Keeps the moslems away.
When I was little the Lava bar was so big! As I grew up the bar became smaller.
Then one day I realized the bar had not changed, my hands had gotten bigger.
What work do you do?
Zorba: I have hands, they do the work! Who the hell am I to choose!
I am not a modern man, then. I am more of a Phil Robertson man.
"The modern man has hardwood flooring. His children can detect his mood from the stamp of his Kenneth Cole oxfords."
As any connoisseur of the billboards on Manhattan's West Side Highway can tell you, Kenneth Cole's market is homosexuals.
That being said, a man can never buy too many shoes for his wife.
I believe he is a High School principal.
I don't see where he is a regular NYTimes contributor.
Needs confirmation:
June 3, 2013
Editorial: Bryan Lombardi a smart hire as Northampton High School principal
Regardless, we know who wears the pants in his family.
For the last fifty years I have driven a TRUCK! Car only when the wife wanted to go somewhere.
TRUCK man or Jeep.
“What the hell is Wu-Tang?”
According to GOOGLE it’s a Rap / Hip Hop group.
. . . but only at the end of "My Dog Skip"
26. The real man cries...never. The real man must learn to be strong for the rest of the family and keep his head about him to compartmentalize the grief and save it for another time. He is needed now. He may choke up on rare occasion, but must resist all urges to cry.
Sounds like a description of the GOP-e
My wife sleeps closest to the door for two reasons
1. The bathroom is closer to my side of the bed (dang prostate)
2. All my guns are on my side of the room...
I don't mind paying for them, but I'm NOT picking them out!
Thanks...rap / hip hop doesn't exist in my universe...
I don't consider it music...
Every time I hear it...it comes across as an annoying noise..
It is. We are.
let the writer know this “gauche simpleton” got no complaints from her mother
the only one I could put a check mark against was crying - I did it when both my closest pals died, & my children were born....
The crying contradicts his #2 unless he wants to cry only in private.
I hate to say it but I bought shoes for my wife once. I was at REI and they had a great sale on hiking shoes. Since it was a 60 mile round trip, I took a shot. Called first to check size.
That’s what I noticed first as well.
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