Please me to allow introduce most excellent sirs. I am humble Secretary of Defense of Secretary of Nigerian nuclear weapons. Since I am becoming Muslim, Christian conspiratorators in Secretary of Defense ministry are persecutions. Me. I have many nuclear weapons in my basement from suitcases leaving work. I will send you, but need postage. Please put $5,000,000 dollars USD in account 2718 2818 2845 9045 Bank of Geneva. Need many stamps nuclear weapons very heavy and packing materials. Thank You. Also address and will ship IMMEDIATELY. Thank you.
P.S Please give me your social security number, birth citificate, and credit card numbers so I can verify who are you incases of future possible complications arising when overdue bank notice assaults me for lack of deposits in a timely circumstantial manner consistent with umportant Nigerian diplomatic protocol
Yours truly, Mr Defense of secretary of defense of secretary of Nigeria- The Honorable, and Fashionable Fred Whatayamacallit Whodunnit the third.
P.P.S Send two checks for $5,000,000 in the case of the first one takes too long for to verify - When first of the checks finally to gets deposited, I will, on my honor as a very important Nigerian diplomat, send the second check back to you mightily pronto- thanks, your pal Fred
Freight carrier:"Is that crate ticking?"
LOL! ISIS will be ending those postage fees right away.