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Marines Issue Policy For Off-Duty Personnel To Cover Heads With Bags (SATIRE)
Duffleblog ^ | 20 July 2014

Posted on 07/20/2015 6:39:48 AM PDT by rey

(SATIRE) QUANTICO, Va. — Following a terrible mass-shooting at a Marine Reserve Center last Thursday, the Marine Corps has vowed to take swift protective measures including a policy that will issue bags for all off-duty Marines to cover their heads with.

The new policy, discussed in MARADMIN 365/15, not only prohibits all Marines, including recruiters, from wearing their uniforms off-base, but also instructs them to cover their heads with a large bag which prevents personal identification. All commands are initially instructed to disseminate money valuable bags, sandbags (preferably empty), or paper bags to all personnel to ensure immediate compliance.

Col. Elizabeth Thompson, a spokesperson for Headquarters Marine Corps, said the move is necessary to ensure that Marines remain safe and vigilant, whether they are being shot at on the battlefield or just shot at in their own office.

“While we know many active-duty Marines were hoping for relaxed policies on open- and concealed-carry, we really feel that the ‘bag-over-the-head’ is more practical given the limitations of our budgets and operating forces.”

Break

Headquarters Marine Corps has already issue two addendums to its new bag policy, one prohibiting Marines in southern states from wearing white bags with eye-holes due to “historical issues,” and the other in response to Twentynine Palms accidentally issuing all its Marines large plastic bags to put on their heads.

The MARADMIN applies to all Marines both in the U.S. and abroad. Marines detailed to the Marine Security Guard (MSG) program are encouraged to wear a bag or sack which best approximates local dress and cultural values.

The policy will remain in place until the Uniform Board can field a standard all-purpose unisex digital camouflage tactical headbag which ensures complete uniformity and marks the wearer as a Marine to all civilians and potential terrorists.

(Excerpt) Read more at duffelblog.com ...


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: terrorism; uniformpolicy; usmc
OF CORSE THIS IS SATIRE, but sadly, this is in response to a real story in the Marine Corps Times:

http://www.marinecorpstimes.com/story/military/2015/07/18/marine-recruiters-told-not--wear-uniforms-offices-closed/30353587/

Be aware that the Duffleblog site has material that may be offensive to some though this article is fine.

1 posted on 07/20/2015 6:39:48 AM PDT by rey
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To: rey

Does this policy apply to straight, gay and transgendered?


2 posted on 07/20/2015 6:41:58 AM PDT by The_Media_never_lie
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To: The_Media_never_lie
Does this policy apply to straight, gay and transgendered?

The gay and transgendered are double-bagged.

3 posted on 07/20/2015 6:44:50 AM PDT by Starstruck (I'm usually sarcastic. Deal with it.)
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To: rey

paper bags

Wouldn’t they be mistaken for the unknown comic?


4 posted on 07/20/2015 6:45:42 AM PDT by rfreedom4u (Chris Stevens won't be running for president.)
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To: rey

Satire, but when I was in the military during my last 3 years of service where my job required me to be off TDY away from my base, generally 50% of the time, I had to travel to a whole lot of mountain tops and comm installations from Iceland down to Greece. There were quite a few places in Italy (a NATO partner) where we had to wear civilian clothes and even travel on Official Red Passports, not as military.

I’d dare say now, there are probably a lot of ‘blended’ areas in this country where that may also be an imperative. A sad state of affairs for the diversity of ignorance and mediocrity.


5 posted on 07/20/2015 6:46:16 AM PDT by Gaffer
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To: rey

Much of the military wanted to wear paper bags with eye holes right after the Community Organizer in Chief began changing military “policy.”


6 posted on 07/20/2015 6:46:54 AM PDT by Sasparilla (If you want peace, prepare for war.)
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To: rey

I was thinking of writing a satire where Marines refused conceal/carry due to a high level of discomfort around guns.


7 posted on 07/20/2015 6:50:31 AM PDT by AppyPappy
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To: rey

We call this satire.

Today...


8 posted on 07/20/2015 6:51:54 AM PDT by Old Sarge (Its the Sixties all over again, but with crappy music...)
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To: AppyPappy

Marines carry weapons not guns though you could write a satire piece on their discomfort around guns concerning the policy of gays serving openly; perhaps you could call it open carry?


9 posted on 07/20/2015 6:53:03 AM PDT by rey
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To: rey

I was thinking of having them complain that “Guns are only meant for killing people” and other typical anti-gun memes.


10 posted on 07/20/2015 6:57:20 AM PDT by AppyPappy
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To: Sasparilla

“”Much of the military wanted to wear paper bags with eye holes right after the Community Organizer in Chief began changing military “policy.”””

AND much of the civilian population want to see HIM with a bag or ANYTHING over his head - but a plastic bag would do!


11 posted on 07/20/2015 7:46:25 AM PDT by Thank You Rush
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To: rey

Paper or plastic, sir?


12 posted on 07/20/2015 7:58:10 AM PDT by WayneS (Yeah, it's probably sarcasm...)
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