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Dear Packeestain,
If ANY nukes detonate on American soil, we'll just go ahead and assume it's one of yours and return the favor ten-fold. While we're at it, we'll toss in a few for Land-O-Norks. They'd simply hate us forever if we forgot them.

XOXOXO,
America

[A Formerly Proud Canadian]

Nice letter...

Who’s going to do it? Certainly not O’Venal. Certainly not Jean Francois Kerry (who served in Viet Nam, dontcha know).

It would take someone with ‘nads and it will be at least 2016 before America has someone in power with the intestinal fortitude to do it.