Posted on 03/04/2015 2:53:31 PM PST by grundle
Dalia Gokirmak, 31, and her husband Oscar, 41, always wanted a big family. But when they found out they were having twins when she was pregnant for the second time, reality sunk in immediately. “I’ll be honest, I pulled out the calculator right away,” Oscar says.
Though they would’ve preferred to stay in Hoboken, N.J., the couple knew they would not be able to afford $1,600 a month per child, the going childcare rate in the area, plus the cost of moving to a bigger home. So they packed up and moved to the neighboring town of Union City where daycare rates are around $600-$700 a month.
The Gokirmaks, whose children are now age 3 and 1, decided it makes the most sense for both of them to continue working – even if three-quarters of Dalia’s take-home pay, which amounts to 30% of their household income, goes straight to daycare
This week they moved again to Highland Park, N.J., where they’ll be paying $1,000 a month per child until they find a more affordable solution. Because it’s so easy to go over budget with three children, they limit their credit card usage and make most of their purchases on their debit card.
Says Oscar: “I never pictured that this was how we were going to end up spending our money. It’s more than the cost of our mortgage and property tax combined.”
(Excerpt) Read more at finance.yahoo.com ...
(((HUGS)))
Happy Purim!
Working people are penalized in this country. People on welfare don’t have these worries.
Some people want to “have children” but don’t want to “be parents”.
The two are not synonymous.
Why so expensive?
From what we hear, it sounds as if women are told they should have a high powered professional career, and not let family responsibilities stop career advancement.
Its as if women are told they should fit their children and family life in around their professional job commitments. Instead of fitting in any job around their family situations.
And a major.intangible is happiness and contentment. Is a mother and family better off and happier if she is out working long hours to bring home a big paycheck, as compared to working less or not at all outside the home?
Everyone has to make their own choices. But, it seems that the feminist idea of women and professional career advancement can be at odds with family life. Just an observation.
I had to spend a lot for daycare but I felt like I needed to keep working because I stayed home for a year with my first one. I applied for a job and they told me they wanted someone with recent experience. I was furious! It was a year of not working - not ten years. I think that is one reason a lot of women feel like they need to keep working. Of course, if you can stay home with your children, that is the best thing for them.
I read between the lines in all these heartache stories. And this one is screaming “GOVERNMENT PROGRAM” and some democrats are going to scream and yell that the government needs to step in and take care of these unfair charges.
WHAT DO WE WANT
DAYCARE NEUTRALITY
WHEN DO WE WANT IT
NOW
My daughter is expecting her first child June 1. I live with her and her husband and will be the babysitter. I don’t know what they would do if I wasn’t able to help.
My mom had three. I was the oldest. My dad died when I was five. She had to work until she remarried when I was 12.
I think you’re correct. At some point people (women) need to decide that they’re not going to let someone else tell them what they “should” do, and do what is best for their family. All the women who complain about people saying things like “You’re just a mom.” need to grow up. Of course, as God goes more and more out of fashion, a mother’s role becomes further and further from what He wants it to be.
You are assuming that they are paying for new cars, a big house, big new TV sets, fancy new cell phones, etc. That’s not a fair assumption. But I agree with you that it’s absurd for the wife to continue working under these circumstances.
I made a LOT of sacrifices to stay home after I gave birth to a child who had a lot of health problems, and just started a home business. It was bloody hard.
I know how to copy the source code. But yahoo.com articles are limited to 300 word excerpts here at Free Republic.
That is almost exactly what I wrote on Yahoo as well.
It is expensive to go to work. You must provide new clothes, cars, gas, lunches, lattes and any number of daily expenses that most people do not consider while working. Also you turn over your kids to someone else at great expense.
Stay home with your kids, have more than 2, be a family and don’t worry about an expensive home and new cars.
We live it. We save money. We get by.
I stay home with our children and have since Obama was elected. My wife works, making around half what I used to make. She had the health insurance, something we unfortunately have needed to the tune of millions of dollars since 2008.
Yet, because we have ten year old cars, live in a beautiful, but modest home and never eat out or do silly things, we make it. We live better than most and aren’t missing any meals.
BONUS: I had the chance to spend every day of our son Doug’s life at home with him and I get to raise our other kids myself.
My twins will be in preschool, free public preschool, in August. I will go back to schlepping home improvements and will certainly earn at least as much as my wife and probably several times more.
I miss the money, but when I die that money will hardly be as important as the quality children we have raised.
Life is about priorities. She stated she didn’t want to get too wrapped up in her kids. Why? They are the only thing you have that matters. She is an administrator,her job is irrelevant in the grand sceame of things, her children aren’t
"Though they would’ve preferred to stay in Hoboken, N.J., the couple knew they would not be able to afford $1,600 a month per child, the going childcare rate in the area, plus the cost of moving to a bigger home. So they packed up and moved to the neighboring town of Union City where daycare rates are around $600-$700 a month."
I'm too lazy to pull out my calculator and crunch this, but just scanning the numbers, my guesstimate is that their gross income is significantly higher than the median household income in the United States ($53,046 according to the Census Bureau).
Like, maybe in the low six-figures. So how do the other 90% do it? I suspect that taxes have a lot to do with their troubles, but still. Lots of people commute to NYC from Pennsylvania. There are reasons for that, not the least of which are taxes and lifestyle. They can have it all, just not in Hoboken, New Jersey. 4 acres in Pennsylvania is affordable. 4 acres in Hoboken is a big part of the city.
High powered career. She is making $2,400 per month take per month. She makes around $36 to $45k per year. He probably makes 2x’s that. They would be better off having her stay at home.
It costs her more money to work than she earns.
My now ex-husband and I agreed when we had children, one of us would stay home. We lived TIGHT on fiances and had four kids. I stayed home and full-time raising my kids was my career (after college/grad school pre-kids), along with taking care of other kids (gratis), volunteering in schools/charities and taking care of our home. After 21 years, divorce. When I could get interviews, the first question was always FROM THE WOMEN, “why didn’t you work”? As if taking care of our four kids, our home, other kids, volunteering in school/scouts/charities wasn’t “work”. I’m still punished in the job search for staying home raising my kids (which was not only the right thing to do for my kids, but financially daycare for four kids would have wiped out any salary I made. My career choice has no value in job hunting. Absolutely none. For my kids, it was the only choice.
It only makes sense for mom to keep working in these circumstances *if* she’s in some kind of profession where it will kill her professionally to take a “time out” for three or four years (such as banking, law, etc. — all the professions where they expect you to have a killer outlook). Otherwise, they’re being foolish. But hey, their kids and their money and their time . . . not mine.
“Says Oscar: “I never pictured that this was how we were going to end up spending our money. It’s more than the cost of our mortgage”
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Duh,Oscar......kids cost money,lots of money.
.
We agreed before we had kids that one of us would stay home with them. It’s not fair to them to be farmed out to strangers all day every day.
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