I am fully supportive of marriage. I’m not here to undercut it. I do not approve of people living together before marriage. I’ve never done it myself.
In the last twenty-five years, I have been with one woman. It was my wife. She has been gone for going on two years. I’m not compelled to sleep with someone else.
I am very familiar with the Bible. I am familiar with the verses. I am also able to think for myself, and there are parts of the Bible I don’t take literally.
To me the decision to be with one person doesn’t happen on the day you say I do. It takes place when you decide that you will say I do, and with incredible happiness.
So do I think that if a woman and a man have sex 48 hours before they are officially married, they are going to rot in hell for all of eternity? No.
You can scrape up every Bible verse you can find, I’m still not going to buy into the idea that God will curse you forever because after a 50 year marriage full of joy and love and friendship, you had sex 48 hours too early.
Now maybe that makes me a heathen. To me it makes me a person that understands God loves us and knows what is in our hearts.
The Bible tells us to repent when we sin, which means, of course, first acknowledging our sin, then seeking God’s forgiveness, then comes “go and sin no more”.
Prior to my conversion, I lived with my first wife for years before we married. We assumed we would marry during that time. But we were still living in sin.
So what is the Biblical “cutoff for having sex before marriage”, where it is “ok” ? 2 days ? What about 2 weeks ? 2 years ?
If the WHOLE time, you KNOW you’re “going to get married”.
The Bible does not present such a latitude, as in, “if you’re going to be married within 10 days, it’s not a sin to have sex”. All it says is that sex outside of marriage is fornication and thus a sin.
You are quite sincere, I am only trying to help. I was completely oblivious to Scripture up until a few short years ago. When I experienced my conversion, I got very upset - by the words of the Bible - wondering if I had committed a grave sin that was not pardonable. I was REALLY worried. Finally the “bell went off” in my head - and in my heart - all my prior sins are exactly why I need the shed blood of Christ - because I did sin. All the hair-splitting in the world won’t save me; I am part of the “all fall short of the glory of God”.
The sins prior to conversion - will be numerous and serious - that is a given. We certainly can’t expect to have much success at avoiding sin prior to the Holy Spirit dwelling within us.
The true believer, born again, converted to Christ, repents, and is cleansed of their sin by the blood of Christ.