Posted on 10/13/2014 3:06:55 PM PDT by grundle
There’s no good time to tell a guy you’re a virgin. First date? Too much, too soon. Wait until the third date and you risk being considered a tease. Second date? Perhaps, but at this point you’re both still fretting over whether or not to eat another piece of bread; delving into sexual histories (or lack thereof) seems a bit extreme. So: There’s no good time to tell a guy you’re a virgin. Even worse? Telling him you’re waiting until marriage.
(Excerpt) Read more at salon.com ...
Where does unconditional love fit into the picture of “test drivinq” people?
If she’s single, wearing a ring on the wedding finger is going to throw some people off (even if it doesn’t look like a wedding ring).
Dang John....quite a dissertation you replied back with; I’m honored. I highly agree with your subreply (advice) in quotes. I always advocate a period (months) of courtship prior to a marital commitment.
Equating cars to people did not originate with me in this discussion. I was merely following the analogy that you set up to see logically where it led. I reprresented everything about my relationship with my cars (and trucks... whatever) accurately. Therefore I would suggest you are the most appropriate person to attempt to respond to the question you pose. :-)
However, to me, unconditional love of one person does not preclude unconditional love of another person.
(I imagine there might be a bible citation about that somewhere, but i’m on vacation right now...)
:-)
The analoqy did not oriqinate with me either but the idea was that you have to test out a sexual relationship with a person before you can be comfortable pledqinq to be faithful to them for the rest of your life.
My point is that a car doesn’t stay the same forever. The same thinq is true of people. The marriaqe vow is to love, honor, and remain faithful to another person for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. That means no turninq back.
Makinq the relationship conditional upon performance from the outset contradicts unconditional love as the reason for committinq to one another. It’s more of an aqreement that you’ll try each other out until troubles come. But marriaqe is like qold, in that the impurities are only burned out of those 2 people if they are willinq to stay even when thinqs qet hot. Learninq the pattern of runninq away doesn’t help in the lonq-term.
It comes down to what love is, and what marriaqe is, and what sex is.
I have unconditional love for a lot of people that I will never sleep with. Part of my love for them is that I would not even TRY to sleep with them. Maybe the purest form of love is one that isn’t lookinq for sexual pleasure from the other person - when there’s nothinq in it for us except the joy of valuinq and nourishinq the other person. Like the love of a parent for a misbehavinq child.
Does unconditional love end? Why stop havinq sex with somebody if the unconditional love which prompted the sex never ends? If a person marries one person do they stop havinq unconditional love for everybody else because they’re not havinq sex with them any more? Or should married people be sleepinq with everybody they love unconditionally?
Have you had your 12th birthday yet?
You can always rely on the tried and true “I’m rubber, you’re glue....”
Yea, I know its an old one, but compared to your recent offerings, it’s strong.
.
Only if you have the intellectual capacity of a hircus -- which I would wager is your problem.
>> “Only if you have the intellectual capacity of a hircus” <<
.
I know that’s way above your level.
I was only trying to help.
Finding it difficult to generate an original response, I see. That's what weed does to your brain I guess.
I must adjust my previous comment regarding a battle of wits -- you're not just unarmed, you're wheelchair-bound.
“I wouldn’t buy a car without first taking a test drive.”
A poor metaphor selection
A better one might be...
Would you try on underwear that other strangers have tried on (maybe even multiple times, by multiple strangers), before you bought a pair?
At least from a disease standpoint (and as much also from the less-visible emotional and spiritual standpoint) when you join with somebody you are partakinq of all the qerms any of them qot from each other. For exposure purposes when a quy has sex with Woman A it’s also as if he had sex with all the quys Woman A had sex with previously, and they all had sex with all the quys their former women had sex with...
If the qerm was the ebola virus, this would be easy to see. Test-drive a car that carried an ebola victim, then test-drive another car..... we all know where that leads. How many infected cars do we have by now?
There’s baqqaqe besides qerms too - residue, memories, habits, and patterns left over from each person we qive the keys to our body, mind, and soul. It’s a little bit like leavinq your own personal border unprotected.
If the questions are to me, the logical answer would be applied set theory.
Love intersects marriage, which intersects sex, which intersects love.
Logically, all else being equal, no given attribute automagically need imply inclusivity or exclusivity from any given set.
I know... math, ugh... most people don’t have a clue... but math (and not the bible or the koran or kama sutra etc) is the universal language of intelligence and reason.
make math, not war
:-)
carried to logical conclusion, all sex is dangerous. And never cross a road, because you can get run over by a trolley car.
I usually don’t like using whatbthey call emoticons, but in this case, it deserves one. So here it is :)
Great post.
I am having a hard time putting my finger on it, but this guy seems to have too much of something or other...
and what of eating pork or camel meat if one is Christian and the law is not abolished? meat from cloven hoof animals being regarded as unclean, etc.
and if only women and not mean can wear hats in church, what do hermaphrodites wear or not wear to church? can hermaphrodites preach? when they marry, do they marry men, or women or each other or are they not allowed to marry?
What is meant by the terms “man” and “woman” in these regulations? How does each regulation apply to people with:
Turner Syndrome X0)
Triple-X Syndrome (XXX, XXXX, XXXXX)
Klinefelter Syndrome (XXY)
XYY Syndrome
... and for each answer, why should it be so differently thus from anyone else?
I’m happy with literal interpretations, but I also am happy to recognize the limitations of literal interpretations. I think a lot of unhappiness is self-generated by being obsessed by hyperliteralism.
Well, you do have a point, some people do look at the surface qualities as an initial gauge on a persons character...
I don’t really throw rocks at situations like that because it does make it more interesting, in longer term interactions, that you look at the persons actions more than their appearance...In some cases...
She does have an agenda, how genuine that is, and her reasoning for announcing her “status” to the world brings some questioning to her motive...
Is she just out there shopping??? Because she wants some guy out there to notice and actually be her first???
Imagine that story (followup)???
Bet me she eventually comes back with, “I’m not a virgin anymore!” article...
Who knows...I actually think that is her motive, to come back with a followup...Right???
self-esteem?
lol
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