Important message from white men: We suck and we’re sorry

Via TheBlaze, I hope this clip impresses every last one of the progressive women it was meant to impress and that these dudes are duly rewarded. They went the extra mile.

List of inventions by boring White guys:

20th century:
# 1900: Rigid dirigible airship: Ferdinand Graf von Zeppelin
# 1901: Improved wireless transmitter: Reginald Fessenden
# 1901: Mercury vapor lamp: Peter C. Hewitt
# 1901: paperclip: Johan Vaaler
# 1902: Radio magnetic detector: Guglielmo Marconi
# 1902: Radio telephone: Poulsen Reginald Fessenden
# 1902: Rayon cellulose ester: Arthur D. Little
# 1903: Electrocardiograph (EKG): Willem Einthoven
# 1903: Powered Monoplane: Richard Pearse
# 1903: Powered Airplane: Wilbur Wright and Orville Wright
# 1903: Bottle machine: Michael Owens
# 1904: Thermionic valve: John Ambrose Fleming
# 1904: Separable Attachment Plug: Harvey Hubbell
# 1905: Radio tube diode: John Ambrose Fleming
# 1906: Triode amplifier: Lee DeForest
# 1907: Radio amplifier: Lee DeForest
# 1907: Radio tube triode: Lee DeForest
# 1907: Vacuum cleaner, (electric): James Spangler
# 1909: Monoplane: Henry W. Walden
# 1909: Bakelite: Leo Baekeland
# 1909: Gun silencer: Hiram Percy Maxim
# 1910: Thermojet engine: Henri Coandă
# 1911: Gyrocompass: Elmer A. Sperry
# 1911: Automobile self starter (perfected): Charles F. Kettering
# 1911: Air conditioner: Willis Haviland Carrier
# 1911: Cellophane: Jacques Brandenburger
# 1911: Hydroplane: Glenn Curtiss
# 1912: photography ;Lapse-time camera for use with plants:Arthur C. Pillsbury
# 1912: Regenerative radio circuit: Edwin H. Armstrong
# 1913: Crossword puzzle: Arthur Wynne
# 1913: Improved X-Ray: William D. Coolidge
# 1913: Double acting wrench: Robert Owen
# 1913: Cracking process for Gasoline: William M. Burten
# 1913: Gyroscope stabilizer: Elmer A. Sperry
# 1913: Geiger counter: Hans Geiger
# 1913: Radio receiver, cascade tuning: Ernst Alexanderson
# 1913: Radio receiver, heterodyne: Reginald Fessenden
# 1913: Stainless steel: Harry Brearley
# 1914: Radio transmitter triode mod.: Ernst Alexanderson
# 1914: Liquid fuel rocket: Robert Goddard
# 1914: Tank, military: Ernest Dunlop Swinton
# 1915: Tungsten Filament: Irving Langmuir
# 1915: Searchlight arc: Elmer A. Sperry
# 1915: Radio tube oscillator: Lee DeForest
# 1916: Browning Gun: John Browning
# 1916: Thompson submachine gun: John T. Thompson
# 1916: Incandescent gas lamp: Irving Langmuir
# 1917: Sonar echolocation: Paul Langevin
# 1918: Super heterodyne: Edwin H. Armstrong
# 1918: Interrupter gear: Anton Fokker
# 1918: Radio crystal oscillator: A.M. Nicolson
# 1918: Pop-up toaster: Charles Strite
# 1919: the Theremin: Leon Theremin
# 1922: Radar: Robert Watson-Watt, A. H. Taylor, L. C. Young, Gregory Breit, Merle Antony Tuve
# 1922: Technicolor: Herbert T. Kalmus
# 1922: Water skiing: Ralph Samuelson
# 1922: Photography : First mass production photo machine:Arthur C. Pillsbury
# 1923: Arc tube: Ernst Alexanderson
# 1923: Sound film: Lee DeForest
# 1923: Television Electronic: Philo Farnsworth
# 1923: Wind tunnel: Max Munk
# 1923: Autogyro: Juan de la Cierva
# 1923: Xenon flash lamp: Harold Edgerton
# 1925: ultra-centrifuge: Theodor Svedberg - used to determine molecular weights
# 1925: Television Iconoscope: Vladimir Zworykin
# 1925: Television Nipkow System: C. Francis Jenkins
# 1925: Telephoto: C. Francis Jenkins
# 1926: Television Mechanical Scanner: John Logie Baird
# 1926: Aerosol spray: Rotheim
# 1927: Mechanical cotton picker: John Rust
# 1927: Photography:First microscopic motion picture camera: Arthur C. Pillsbury
# 1928: sliced bread: Otto Frederick Rohwedder
# 1928: Electric dry shaver: Jacob Schick
# 1928: Antibiotics: Alexander Fleming
# 1929: Electroencephelograph (EEG): Hans Berger
# 1929: Photography:First X-Ray motion picture camera:Arthur C. Pillsbury
# 1920s: Mechanical potato peeler: Herman Lay
# 1930: Neoprene: Wallace Carothers
# 1930: Nylon: Wallace Carothers
# 1930: Photography: Underwater Motion Picture Camera: Arthur C. Pillsbury
# 1931: the Radio telescope: Karl Jansky Grote Reber
# 1932: Polaroid glass: Edwin H. Land
# 1935: microwave radar: Robert Watson-Watt
# 1935: Trampoline: George Nissen and Larry Griswold
# 1935: Spectrophotometer: Arthur C. Hardy
# 1935: Casein fiber: Earl Whittier Stephen
# 1935: Hammond Organ: Laurens Hammond
# 1936: Pinsetter (bowling): Gottfried Schmidt
# 1937: Jet engine: Frank Whittle Hans von Ohain
# 1938: Fiberglass: Russell Games Slayter John H. Thomas
# 1938: Computer: Konrad Zuse (Germany) simultaneously as Atanasoff (United States)
# 1939: FM radio: Edwin H. Armstrong
# 1939: Helicopter: Igor Sikorsky
# 1939: View-master: William Gruber
# 1942: Bazooka Rocket Gun: Leslie A. Skinner C. N. Hickman
# 1942: Undersea oil pipeline: Hartley, Anglo-Iranian, Siemens in Operation Pluto
# 1942: frequency hopping: Hedy Lamarr and George Antheil
# 1943: Aqua-Lung: Jacques-Yves Cousteau and Emile Gagnan
# 1943: electronic programmable digital computer: Tommy Flowers [1]
# 1944: Electron spectrometer: Deutsch Elliot Evans
# 1945: Nuclear weapons (but note: chain reaction theory: 1933)
# 1946: microwave oven: Percy Spencer
# 1947: Transistor: William Shockley, Walter Brattain, John Bardeen
# 1947: Polaroid camera: Edwin Land
# 1948: Long Playing Record: Peter Carl Goldmark
# 1949: Atomic clocks
# 1952: fusion bomb: Edward Teller and Stanislaw Ulam
# 1952: hovercraft: Christopher Cockerell
# 1953: maser: Charles Townes
# 1953: medical ultrasonography
# 1954: transistor radio (dated from the from Regency TR1) (USA)
# 1954: first nuclear power reactor
# 1954: geodesic dome: Buckminster Fuller
# 1955: Velcro: George de Mestral
# 1957: Jet Boat: William Hamilton
# 1957: EEG topography: Walter Grey Walter
# 1957: Bubble Wrap - Alfred Fielding and Marc Chavannes of Sealed Air
# 1958: the Integrated circuit: Jack Kilby of Texas Instruments, Robert Noyce at Fairchild Semiconductor
# 1959: snowmobile: Joseph-Armand Bombardier
# 1960s: Packet switching: Donald Davies and Paul Baran, video games
# 1960: lasers: Theodore Maiman, at Hughes Aircraft
# 1962: Communications satellites: Arthur C. Clarke
# 1962: Light-emitting diode: Nick Holonyak
# 1963: Hypertext: Ted Nelson
# 1963: Computer mouse: Douglas Engelbart
# 1965: 8-track tapes: William Powell Lear
# 1968: Video game console: Ralph Baer
# 1970: Fiber optics
# 1971: E-mail: Ray Tomlinson
# 1971: the Microprocessor
# 1971: the Pocket calculator
# 1971: Magnetic resonance imaging: Raymond V. Damadian
# 1972: Computed Tomography: Godfrey Newbold Hounsfield
# 1973: Ethernet: Bob Metcalfe and David Boggs
# 1973: Monash University scientists report the world's first IVF pregnancy.
# 1974: Scramjet: NASA and United States Navy -- first operational prototype flown in 2002
# 1974: Heimlich Maneuever: Henry Heimlich
# 1975: digital camera: Steven Sasson
# 1977: the personal computer (dated from Commodore PET)
# 1978: Philips releases the laserdisc player
# 1978: Spring loaded camming device: Ray Jardine
# 1979: the Walkman: Akio Morita, Masaru Ibuka, Kozo Ohsone
# 1979: the cellular telephone (first commercially fielded version, NTT)
# 1970s: Tomahawk Cruise Missile (first computerized cruise missile)
# 1983: Domain Name System: Paul Mockapetris
# 1985: polymerase chain reaction: Kary Mullis
# 1985: DNA fingerprinting: Alec Jeffreys
# 1989: the World Wide Web: Tim Berners-Lee

19th century
# 1800: Electric battery: Alessandro Volta
# 1801: Jacquard loom: Joseph Marie Jacquard
# 1802: Screw propeller steamboat Phoenix: John Stevens
# 1802: gas stove: Zachäus Andreas Winzler
# 1805: Submarine Nautilus: Robert Fulton
# 1805: Refrigerator: Oliver Evans
# 1807: Steamboat Clermont: Robert Fulton
# 1808: Band saw: William Newberry
# 1811: Gun- Breechloader: Thornton (?)
# 1812: Metronome: Dietrich Nikolaus Winkel
# 1813: Hand printing press: George Clymer
# 1814: Steam Locomotive (Blucher): George Stephenson
# 1816: Miner's safety lamp: Humphry Davy
# 1816: Metronome: Johann Nepomuk Maelzel (reputed)
# 1816: Stirling engine: Robert Stirling
# 1816: Stethoscope: Rene Theophile Hyacinthe Laennec
# 1817: Kaleidoscope: David Brewster
# 1819: Breech loading flintlock: John Hall
# 1821: Electric motor: Michael Faraday
# 1823: Electromagnet: William Sturgeon
# 1826: Photography: Joseph Nicéphore Niépce
# 1826: internal combustion engine: Samuel Morey
# 1827: Insulated wire: Joseph Henry
# 1827: Screw propeller: Josef Ressel
# 1827: Friction match: John Walker
# 1830: Lawn mower: Edwin Beard Budding
# 1831: Multiple coil magnet: Joseph Henry
# 1831: Magnetic acoustic telegraph: Joseph Henry (patented 1837)
# 1831: Reaper: Cyrus McCormick
# 1831: Electrical generator: Michael Faraday, Stefan Jedlik
# 1834: June 14 - Isaac Fischer, Jr. patents sandpaper
# 1834: The Hansom cab is patented
# 1834: Louis Braille perfects his Braille system
# 1835: Photogenic Drawing: William Henry Fox Talbot
# 1835: Revolver: Samuel Colt
# 1835: Morse code: Samuel Morse
# 1835: Electromechanical Relay: Joseph Henry
# 1836: Samuel Colt receives a patent for the Colt revolver (February 24)
# 1836: Improved screw propeller: John Ericsson
# 1836: Sewing machine: Josef Madersberger
# 1837: Photography: Louis-Jacques-Mandé Daguerre
# 1837: First US electric printing press patented by Thomas Davenport (February 25)
# 1837: Steel plow: John Deere
# 1837: Standard diving dress: Augustus Siebe
# 1837: Camera Zoom Lens: Jozef Maximilián Petzval
# 1838: Electric telegraph: Charles Wheatstone
# 1838: Forerunner of Morse code: Alfred Vail
# 1838: closed diving suit with a helmet: Augustus Siebe
# 1839: Vulcanization of rubber: Charles Goodyear
# 1840: Frigate with submarine machinery SS Princeton: John Ericsson
# 1840: artificial fertilizer: Justus von Liebig
# 1842: Anaesthesia: Crawford Long
# 1843: Typewriter: Charles Thurber
# 1843: Fax machine: Alexander Bain
#
# 1844: Telegraph: Samuel Morse
# 1845: Portland cement: William Aspdin
# 1845: Double tube tire: Robert Thomson (inventor)
# 1846: Sewing machine: Elias Howe
# 1846: Rotary printing press: Richard M. Hoe
# 1849: Safety pin: Walter Hunt
# 1849: Francis turbine: James B. Francis
# 1852: Airship: Henri Giffard
# 1852: Passenger elevator: Elisha Otis
# 1852: Gyroscope: Léon Foucault
# 1853: Glider: Sir George Cayley
# 1855: Bunsen burner: Robert Bunsen
# 1855: Bessemer process: Henry Bessemer
# 1856: First celluloids: Alexander Parkes
# 1858: Undersea telegraph cable: Fredrick Newton Gisborne
# 1858: Shoe sole sewing machine: Lyman R. Blake
# 1858: Mason jar: John L. Mason
# 1859: Oil drill: Edwin L. Drake
# 1860: Linoleum: Fredrick Walton
# 1860: Repeating rifle: Oliver F. Winchester, Christopher Spencer
# 1860: Self-propelled torpedo: Ivan Lupis-Vukić
# 1861: Ironclad USS Monitor: John Ericsson
# 1861: Regenerative Furnace: Carl Wilhelm Siemens
# 1862: Revolving machine gun: Richard J. Gatling
# 1862: Mechanical submarine: Narcís Monturiol i Estarriol
# 1862: Pasteurization: Louis Pasteur, Claude Bernard
# 1863: Player piano: Henri Fourneaux
# 1864: First concept typewriter: Peter Mitterhofer
# 1865: Compression ice machine: Thaddeus Lowe
# 1866: Dynamite: Alfred Nobel
# 1867:
# 1868: First practical typewriter: Christopher Sholes, Carlos Glidden and Samuel W. Soule, with assistance from James Densmore
# 1868: Air brake (rail): George Westinghouse
# 1868: Oleomargarine: Mege Mouries
# 1869: Vacuum cleaner: I.W. McGaffers
# 1870: Magic Lantern projector: Henry R. Heyl
# 1870: Stock ticker: Thomas Alva Edison
# 1870: Mobile Gasoline Engine, Automobile: Siegfried Marcus
# 1871: Cable car (railway): Andrew S. Hallidie
# 1871: Compressed air rock drill: Simon Ingersoll
# 1872: Celluloid (later development): John W. Hyatt
# 1872: Adding machine: Edmund D. Barbour
# 1873: Barbed wire: Joseph F. Glidden
# 1873: Railway knuckle coupler: Eli H. Janney
# 1873: Modern direct current electric motor: Zénobe Gramme
# 1874: Electric street car: Stephen Dudle Field
# 1875: Dynamo: William A. Anthony
# 1875: Gun- (magazine): Benjamin B. Hotchkiss
# 1876: Telephone: Alexander Graham Bell
# 1876: Telephone: Elisha Gray
# 1876: Carpet sweeper: Melville Bissell
# 1876: Gasoline carburettor: Daimler
# 1877: Stapler: Henry R. Heyl
# 1877: Induction motor: Nikola Tesla
# 1877: Phonograph: Thomas Alva Edison
# 1877: Electric welding: Elihu Thomson
# 1877: Twine Knotter: John Appleby
# 1878: Cathode ray tube: William Crookes
# 1878: Transparent film: Eastman Goodwin
# 1878: Rebreather: Henry Fleuss
# 1878: Incandescent Light bulb: Joseph Swan
# 1879: Pelton turbine: Lester Pelton
# 1879: Automobile engine: Karl Benz
# 1879: Cash register: James Ritty
# 1879: Automobile (Patent): George B. Seldon ... note did NOT invent auto
# 1880: Photophone: Alexander Graham Bell
# 1880: Roll film: George Eastman
# 1880: Safety razor: Kampfe Brothers
# 1880: Seismograph: John Milne
# 1881: Electric welding machine: Elihu Thomson
# 1881: Metal detector: Alexander Graham Bell
# 1882: Electric fan: Schuyler Skatts Wheeler
# 1882: Electric flat iron: Henry W. Seely
# 1883: Auto engine - compression ignition: Gottlieb Daimler
# 1883: two-phase (alternating current) induction motor: Nikola Tesla
# 1884: Linotype machine: Ottmar Mergenthaler
# 1884: Fountain pen: Lewis Waterman NB: Did not invent fountain pen, nor even "first practical fountain pen". Started manufacture in 1883, too.
# 1884: Punched card accounting: Herman Hollerith
# 1884: Trolley car, (electric): Frank Sprague, Karel Van de Poele
# 1885: Automobile, differential gear: Karl Benz
# 1885: Maxim gun: Hiram Stevens Maxim
# 1885: Motor cycle: Gottlieb Daimler and Wilhelm Maybach
# 1885: Alternating current transformer: William Stanley
# 1886: Gasoline engine: Gottlieb Daimler
# 1886: Improved phonograph cylinder: Tainter & Bell
# 1887: Monotype machine: Tolbert Lanston
# 1887: Contact lens: Adolf E. Fick, Eugene Kalt and August Muller
# 1887: Gramophone record: Emile Berliner
# 1887: Automobile, (gasoline): Gottlieb Daimler
# 1888: Polyphase AC Electric power system: Nikola Tesla (30 related patents.)
# 1888: Kodak hand camera: George Eastman
# 1888: Ballpoint pen: John Loud
# 1888: Pneumatic tube tire: John Boyd Dunlop
# 1888: Harvester-thresher: Matteson (?)
# 1888: Kinematograph: Augustin Le Prince
# 1889: Automobile, (steam): Sylvester Roper
# 1890: Pneumatic Hammer: Charles B. King
# 1891: Automobile Storage Battery: William Morrison
# 1891: Zipper: Whitcomb L. Judson
# 1891: Carborundum: Edward G. Acheson
# 1892: Color photography: Frederic E. Ives
# 1892: Automatic telephone exchange (electromechanical): Almon Strowger - First in commercial service.
# 1893: Photographic gun: E.J. Marcy
# 1893: Half tone engraving: Frederick Ives
# 1893: Wireless communication: Nikola Tesla
# 1895: Phatoptiken projector: Woodville Latham
# 1895: Phantascope: C. Francis Jenkins
# 1895: Disposable blades: King C. Gillette
# 1895: Diesel engine: Rudolf Diesel
# 1895: Radio signals: Guglielmo Marconi
# 1895: Shredded Wheat: Henry Perky
# 1896: Vitascope: Thomas Armat
# 1896: Steam turbine: Charles Curtis
# 1896: Electric stove: William S. Hadaway
# 1897: Automobile, magneto: Robert Bosch
# 1898: Remote control: Nikola Tesla
# 1899: Automobile self starter: Clyde J. Coleman
# 1899: Magnetic tape recorder: Valdemar Poulsen
# 1899: Gas turbine: Charles Curtis

18th cent.
# 1701: Seed drill: Jethro Tull
# 1705: Steam piston engine: Thomas Newcomen
# 1709: Piano: Bartolomeo Cristofori
# 1710: Thermometer: René Antoine Ferchault de Réaumur
# 1711: Tuning fork: John Shore
# 1714: Mercury thermometer: Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit
# 1730: Mariner's quadrant: Thomas Godfrey
# 1731: Sextant: John Hadley
# 1733: Flying shuttle: John Kay (Flying Shuttle)
# 1742: Franklin stove: Benjamin Franklin
# 1750: Flatboat: Jacob Yoder
# 1752: Lightning rod: Benjamin Franklin
# 1762: Iron smelting process: Jared Eliot
# 1767: Spinning jenny: James Hargreaves
# 1767: Carbonated water: Joseph Priestley
# 1769: Steam engine: James Watt
# 1769: Water Frame: Richard Arkwright
# 1775: Submarine Turtle: David Bushnell
# 1777: Card teeth making machine: Oliver Evans
# 1777: Circular saw: Samuel Miller
# 1779: Spinning mule: Samuel Crompton
# 1783: Multitubular boiler engine: John Stevens
# 1783: Parachute: Jean Pierre Blanchard
# 1783: Hot air balloon: Montgolfier brothers
# 1784: Bifocals: Benjamin Franklin
# 1784: Shrapnel shell: Henry Shrapnel
# 1785: Power loom: Edmund Cartwright
# 1785: Automatic flour mill: Oliver Evans
# 1787: Non-condensing high pressure Engine: Oliver Evans
# 1790: Cut and head nail machine: Jacob Perkins
# 1791: Steamboat: John Fitch
# 1791: Artificial teeth: Nicholas Dubois De Chemant
# 1793: Cotton gin: Eli Whitney
# 1793: Optical telegraph: Claude Chappe
# 1797: Cast iron plow: Charles Newbold
# 1798: Vaccination: Edward Jenner
# 1798: Lithography: Alois Senefelder
# 1799: Seeding machine: Eliakim Spooner

17th century
* 1608: Telescope: Hans Lippershey
* 1609: Microscope: Galileo Galilei
* 1620: Slide rule: William Oughtred
* 1623: Automatic calculator: Wilhelm Schickard
* 1642: Adding machine: Blaise Pascal
* 1643: Barometer: Evangelista Torricelli
* 1645: Vacuum pump: Otto von Guericke
* 1657: Pendulum clock: Christiaan Huygens
* 1698: Steam engine: Thomas Savery
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