A cop friend from Houston visited my brother in law in Dallas, and my wife and I made the mistake of going out with them for a night of Texas drinking.
When I told him to quit driving so crazy, he said it was OK because of the cop brotherhood, this was after he had been throwing eggs at people and taken some pot from some kids in a park, all to impress my wife, he was an incredible dork.
I disgraced him and my brother in law later that night after I took over the wheel, I drove them to a big Texas club that was having a transvestite entertainer night, as drunk as they were I got them inside without them knowing what was up, then I encouraged their whooping at the sexy (male) dancers and even got the cop to put dollars in their g-strings, at the right moment when I got him on top of our table and he was drawing maximum audience attention in the well lit bar, I asked him if he knew that those dancers up there were men.
The expressions on those two guys was a thing to see, my memory is that they literally slid under the table and begged me to take us home.
You sir, deserve an award.
Such stunts are useless without video or photos — for blackmail purposes, of course.
:)