Facing Shortages, Venezuela Takes Over Toilet Paper Factory

CNN ^ | September 21, 2013 | Marilia Brochetto and Greg Botelho

[VRW Conspirator]

We are from the government and we are here to help you.

[USMCPOP]

“Nothin spells out a nation’s greatness like nationalized butt wipes.”

If it’s like here, they could start with a government agency, NBS - National Butt Swipes. Then they could spend money later to change the name to NIST - National Institute of Sanitary Tissue.

[ROCKLOBSTER]

We are from the government and we are here to help you.

Of course, what that really means is:

We are from the government and we are here to help ourselves.

[WVKayaker]

Are you in competition for World's longest sentence?

But, to the TP shortage, I have one suggestion...

[agere_contra]

“The first sign that you have achieved Communism is when toilet paper becomes a luxury.”

Startlingly true.

[GeronL]

It will become much less productive and efficient while under government control

[tumblindice]

Senor Whipple

[GeronL]

everything they nationalized is now less productive and less efficient

[lbryce]

You got me on that. I do have a problem with my run on sentences. The learning curve for pithy and succinct is graphed like a 179 degree angle.

[WVKayaker]

I'm not a regular member of the grammar police. But, it's 2am here in the Philippines and I'm up watching the Nascar race of FoxSports. I was reading posts and that one glared enough to make me chuckle. I can't be too critical as I tend toward such verbosity too many times!

You may want to make a submission. I checked and you could win... your word count= 94 (word counter.net)

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest ... Where “WWW” means “Wretched Writers Welcome”

[lbryce]

I wasn’t offended. It was a legitimate query asked in a good-humored, tongue-in-cheek way, more curious than anything else.Thanks for providing the lead to the contest. I’ll check it out out of curiosity but have no intention of entering into the competition.

[TexasRepublic]

The government toilet paper will be marketed under a new brand name, “John Wayne Toilet Paper”, because it will be rough, tough, and won’t take sh!t off anybody.