Posted on 08/02/2013 10:55:30 AM PDT by John David Powell
Since becoming the head guy in The Vatican (www.vatican.va/phome_en.htm), Pope Francis has pulled a bigger beach crowd than the Rolling Stones (www.rollingstones.com), walked through slums, and washed and kissed the feet of prisoners.
He even slummed it on his flight out of Rio by talking with reporters covering his trip, but he didn’t wash or kiss their feet.
And even though he came out and said it is not his place to judge a gay person who accepts the Lord and has goodwill, there are plenty of women who think he should have said something for the ladies in the crowd, like saying the Catholic Church should ordain women priests.
He did not say that, though. And those women think it is just a load of papal bull for the pope to allow the Catholic Church to continue making the priesthood an all-boys club.
Of course, the guys in the robes will say the church has plenty of women to call upon, like Mary, the Mother of God; and the other Mary with the Myrrh Bearing Women (who first discovered the empty tomb). Or closer to home, Our Lady of Guadalupe (who technically is the mother Mary), and even Mother Teresa.
Come to think of it, if women can give birth to God and take care of his children, maybe they can take on some priestly duties. Hey, they couldn’t do any worse.
Some of the folks down at Sparky’s Diner took this subject to its logical conclusion, in their minds at least. Why limit women to Catholic priesthood? Why not take it to the next level and let them be head coaches of professional football teams?
Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that’s a pretty dumb idea. I thought so, too, until a few of the regulars set me straight. And then it kinda made sense.
For starters, professional football, they said, is America’s unofficial religion. They could have stopped there, but that’s not what the Sparky crowd does. Among their other examples:
Teams play on Sunday most of the time, come hell or high water.
Attending an NFL (www.nfl.com) game can take about ten percent of your income, just like a tithe at church.
The words “fan” and “faithful” both begin with the letter “f”, as in “football”. Freaky, right?
Fans ritualistically cook and ingest dead animals over altars of flames or hot coals either at the game site or with fellow faithful fans coming together for home worship.
A priest censes the congregation with fragrant smoke. A pro football team comes onto the field through a wall of smoke.
Each team, at some point, asks for special divine strength to beat the devil out of the other team.
Teams put on their mantels as gridiron crusaders to take the field against other crusaders.
There’s that whole conversion thing.
Football teams already include Cardinals (www.azcardinals.com) and Saints (www.neworleanssaints.com), not to mention some Rams (www.stlouisrams.com), whose former owner was a woman.
‘Fess up now, how many times have you written off your team only to have them come back from the dead?
And speaking of confession, priests are into hearing confessions and football players are into confessing in hearings (Tip of the hat to Hash Brown for that one.)
Sparky eventually chimed in to remind us that at one time the very thought of a woman in a locker room was, well, unthinkable, if not downright unmanly. Now we have ladies in the locker rooms, ladies on the sidelines, ladies on the set doing what comes naturally to ladies: telling the guys how to play the game.
And, of course, a Super Bowl (www.nfl.com/superbowl) championship comes with a big ring with lots of diamonds. Need we say more?
I don’t subscribe to the theory women have to be admitted into the male sports team locker-room before everything in the universe can whir along blissfully.
In reverse, I don’t think men should have to insert themselves into every venture women wish to take on.
As a person who has followed sports for many years, I can tell you that a fan can instantly tell when someone who hasn’t played the game starts making color commentary.
For this reason, the people I have enjoyed listening to most, are the people who have played the game. They know what it’s like to think under pressure, take the big hit, deliver the big hit, and participate in the game winning play.
The Barbie types that make decent eye-candy are okay, if that’s what you’re into, although I don’t know why involve football in it if that’s your context.
Having some 5’ 0” 98 pound woman explain the finer workings of a game played by 6.5 225 - 300 pound men seems downright weird.
OK, now let’s all hold hands and enjoy the cake that Mikey brought to practice today. Oh, you all look so nice color coordinated like your are. Now you, I’d like for you to toss that oblong thing on the ground down toward the H and lets see who gets there first to catch it.
I concur.
I'm a Vikings fan. So never.
I remember one case where a kid got hurt from dehydration during practice and the fox news lady tried to get Terry Bradshaw to say the practices were too hard.
I mean it was Terry Bradshaw.
As a one-time season ticket holder, I thought it was a humorous premise... I liked the comparison!
I nominate Salma Hayek. I would root for whatever team she coached.
Hahahaha...I had to watch that without sound...it looks like silly football humor, so I may have to watch this...:)
Thanks for the link...
I would have enjoyed that much better if he had pegged the guy directly in the nads instead of the face...
I just watched that Oliver Stone movie where she is the Mexican Drug kingpin...she didn’t look bad, but...scary.
It’s a great fun movie.
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