To (All) the Colleges That Rejected Me (Excellent Piece on Warped College Admissions!)

The Wall Street Journal ^ | March 29, 2013, 6:31 p.m. ET | SUZY LEE WEISS

[TSgt]

Like me, millions of high-school seniors with sour grapes are asking themselves this week how they failed to get into the colleges of their dreams. It's simple: For years, they—we—were lied to.

Colleges tell you, "Just be yourself." That is great advice, as long as yourself has nine extracurriculars, six leadership positions, three varsity sports, killer SAT scores and two moms. Then by all means, be yourself! If you work at a local pizza shop and are the slowest person on the cross-country team, consider taking your business elsewhere.

What could I have done differently over the past years?

For starters, had I known two years ago what I know now, I would have gladly worn a headdress to school. Show me to any closet, and I would've happily come out of it. "Diversity!" I offer about as much diversity as a saltine cracker. If it were up to me, I would've been any of the diversities: Navajo, Pacific Islander, anything. Sen. Elizabeth Warren, I salute you and your 1/32 Cherokee heritage.

I also probably should have started a fake charity. Providing veterinary services for homeless people's pets. Collecting donations for the underprivileged chimpanzees of the Congo. Raising awareness for Chapped-Lips-in-the-Winter Syndrome. Fun-runs, dance-a-thons, bake sales—as long as you're using someone else's misfortunes to try to propel yourself into the Ivy League, you're golden.

...

Then there was summer camp. I should've done what I knew was best—go to Africa, scoop up some suffering child, take a few pictures, and write my essays about how spending that afternoon with Kinto changed my life. Because everyone knows that if you don't have anything difficult going on in your own life, you should just hop on a plane so you're able to talk about what other people have to deal with.

[ladyjane]

Your ‘problem’ is you live in New York. Applying to college from New York State makes admission more difficult. If the admissions committe has to choose between a 1600 SAT from NY and a 1550 from North Dakota and they have no other applications from North Dakota...well...

Perhaps you could move to Scotland or Slovenia? Alternatively, she’ll be able to transfer just about anywhere if she earns an excellent GPA at her current college.

[allmendream]

Yes, sending food instead of sending yourself would make more sense - but then you wouldn't have the great photo op, and the personal reflection on how shitty their life is without the food they require and privileged people who “care” gawking at them instead of sending food.

[The Antiyuppie]

I know exactly how this person feels. If you were in high school and were lucky AND persistent enough to get a job after school/weekends these days to help pay for it, well, that’s tough - it will probably HURT your chances of getting into a school, and it DEFINITELY will hurt your ability to get a scholarship.

I wonder how many colleges you would get into these days with filling out the “Community Service” section of the admission form with “I worked and paid taxes”.

[allmendream]

Loved that scene!

I paraphrased for my brother....

“Meet your new boss, she is a Guatemalan immigrant who is going to teach you to sew, small motor repair, and animal husbandry.”

The high priced lawyer says “She used to be my nanny!”.

I joked that with my experience and my degree in biology - and the fact that the threat was biological in nature - I might be put to use doing biology.

My brother laughed and said “When they find out where you grew up you would be teaching people to split wood, start fires, build cabins, and butcher animals so fast it would make your head spin.”

[The Antiyuppie]

“She is funny, but bottom line is she probably should have done better in school and SATs. That is really the bottom line in chosing student and I have first hand knowledge of this since I work at the Naval Academy.”

I hardly think that the Naval Academy is representative of most schools today.

At least, I hope to God it isn’t, or we are in a great deal of trouble.

[dfwgator]

SATs are everything.

[Lou L]

could run the 40 in 3.9 seconds

If your son could run the 40 in 3.9, he could go directly to the NFL. Or the Olympics. That's a couple of tenths faster than the fastest NFL players.

[curious12]

That’s very true. A wise man once said, “Never ruin your children by making their lives too easy”.

[dfwgator]

Then, strange mailings started showing up in the home mailbox - - invitations to join black fraternities and support groups for the parents of black students, for example, along with all kinds of scholarship and financial freebie come-ons directed at minorities. The thing was, the young man was whiter than Ashton Kutcher. He finally admitted that he checked the ‘African-American’ box on his application. He said he thought it would improve his chances of getting accepted. Well, it worked.

Well it worked in "Soul Man."

[Hot Tabasco]

she probably should have done better in school and SATs.

My nephew had to sit out a year before the University of Mich. Med School would admit him. The class was already filled up with minorities and foreign students who already had advanced degrees but were switching to medicine.

If worked out for the best for him, he went to Europe and played semi-pro hockey for a year and was able to travel extensively throughout Europe with his European teammates.......

After that year abroad, he came home, eventually graduated from U of M Med and the rest is history.......

[allmendream]

“mom and dad aren’t rich or well connected. That matters also.”

Ah yes, “Legacy” admissions. Affirmative action for the blue blood set. The reason behind how so many academic mediocrities (G.W. Bush, Gore) get to be Harvard and Yale grads.

[staytrue]

My youngest son wanted to play football in college. He played 6-man football in high school and could run the 40 in 3.9 seconds.

You have to mean 4.9 seconds. If he runs 3.9 and can prove it, every d1 school in the country will want him.

Here is an article about the runner up Heisman trophy winner Mantei Teo

"Manti Te’o improves time on 40-yard dash at pro day By Xai Xiong March 27, 2013 After running 4.82 seconds in the 40-yard dash at the NFL combine, Manti Te’O improved his time with 4.75 and 4.71 seconds at Notre Dame’s pro day. “I felt good. I’m at home now,” Te’o said. “I was very pleased with how I performed.” With the time that Te’O received in the NFL combine, many teams were suddenly afraid to draft him in the first round of the NFL draft. "

[verga]

Most of his classmates are a lot like him - great students from solid families. He knows some rich folks, but plenty more middle class folks. Here's something interesting: Most of the students he knows come from intact families. Not a lot of divorce in the families of Ivy League students. Hmmm.... I wonder what the connection might be.

As goes teh family so goes the country

[MeganC]

Thank you. My choices cost me a lot of my old friendships because I was treated as a traitor to the feminist ideal. That’s why I often say that there’s nothing feminine about feminism.

[dfwgator]

Feminism was created so as to allow unattractive women access to the mainstream of society. - Rush Limbaugh

[supremedoctrine]

Exceptionally smart, sassy and justi@iably cynical kid, considering that she’s still in High School.

[Albion Wilde]

Native American lesbian in a wheelchair.

Native American Catholic lesbian in a wheelchair.

[verga]

I especially liked the chapter where the gal was talking to a support person on the radio who coached her out to rescue, but then found out that there was no support person and it was only herself and her training that coached her out.Just finished reading it over Easter. He did a great job of figuring out so many scenarios. the one that blew my mind was the cannibalism in Canada.