Why I am not having kids (Hint: Rhymes with "schmarbon schmootprint")

The Seattle Times ^ | January 30, 2013 | Sharon Pian Chan

[Junior_G]

My husband I just ended our debate about having children. To breed or not to breed, this was the question — and it had been ticking like an egg timer in the back of my head for 15 years.

We talked about it for five months. In the car on the way to work. During dinner. For five minutes, for 30 minutes. After seeing nephews and nieces.

I wanted it to be a decision we made, not one made for us by chance or time. I turned to friends with kids for advice. “Feel free to convince me to your side,” I told them. Leaving a legacy and crazy joy, they said. I bow down to their personal sacrifice. It is an enormous gift for society to raise an educated, productive, ethical, moral child.

On our last vacation, my husband and I mulled over this question: “On your deathbed, what will you regret not doing?” We listed our answers at dinner on the last night. Neither of us mentioned children...

[Junior_G]

Leftist editorial columnist for the Seattle Times feels like sharing why she isn't going to have children. Unsurprisingly, part of her reason is that people are bad for the planet.

[Jet Jaguar]

Good.

We don’t need a buch of little leftist running around with bump helmets and safety floats.

[Jet Jaguar]

leftists. correction.

[Dilbert San Diego]

Liberal horse blank. No surprise here.

[Right Brother]

"Also, not having a child is the most important thing I could do to reduce my carbon footprint"

Why stop there.....why don't you commit suicide and reduce it even further?

[Junior_G]

Good point. Though whenever I find myself grateful that a leftist isn’t reproducing, I get depressed that they’re still the ones teaching everyone else’s children in the public education system.

[Tzimisce]

....well who’s going to pay for all this massive liberal spending if there are no kids?

[GeronL]

leftists don’t need to breed, they always have your kids to corrupt

[Art in Idaho]

Good. Less LiLs (Low information Liberals).

[Gene Eric]

Darwinism... love it.

[One Name]

Shhh. You might give the earthfirst Nocluons a strategy.

[Grams A]

I just cannot fathom what life would have been like without children. Without them I would have missed having the opportunity to have, unlike on occasion their parents, my nearly perfect grandchildren.

[dfwgator]

[DIRTYSECRET]

She should bring a child into the world and then give it away.

[calico_thompson]

I cried last Friday. My daughter had me drive her to the obgyn. I got the first look at her twins. At 24 weeks they are viable. God bless her and all of her kids.

[GraceG]

Appropriate use of this image:

[lurk]

Dear Leftist childless lady:

It is totally okay for you to not have kids.

I’ll have them instead.

8 conservative homeschooled children who are writing research papers on redistribution, saving your butt as nurses and paramedics, voting conservative, preaching the gospel of Jesus across the country, babysitting your kids and entirely comfortable around lead-dispensing home protection devices.

They’ll make the kind of neighbors you’ll call when you’re going on a vacation and need someone to watch the house.

[One Name]

Only because we have allowed them influence.

Shame on us. We slept while they faggotized America and crept like worms into everyday life; like their 1% perversion was some kind of normal.

They’ve beaten working city males into metrosexuals by several orders over statistical norms.

Like sheep to the slaughter.

[allendale]

Liberal narcissists are so deranged that they have deviated from natural law. Ironically it is very Darwinian. Darwinian law acknowledges that defective members of a species will ultimately be unsuccessful in procreation and their defective genes will die out. At least they will in this odd couple’s case.

[plsjr]

"Also, not having a child is the most important thing I could do to reduce my carbon footprint, according to a 2009 study by Oregon State University statisticians. (Of course, like all parents, I believe my theoretical child would have grown up to become a brilliant physicist and saved the world from global warming, so this is a moot point.) ...

I broke the news to my grandmother, mother of six, while visiting her in Hong Kong. “That’s fine,” she said in Cantonese, “if you want to be lazy.” ...

I told my parents in California over Christmas. “Don’t do it if you don’t want to,” my mom said without pause. “You won’t like it.” ...


It’s OK that I didn’t dream of growing up and having a baby. My husband and I can be a family without a kid. The ability to bear a child may be what defines me as female, but I’m still a woman without one...

It is an enormous gift for society to raise an educated, productive, ethical, moral child...


Considering the source, I expect the child more likely would become "relatively" moral.