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The Juanita Broaddrick Chapter in Hillary’s Book (ghostwriter — DFU)
DFU | 4-2003 | dfu

Posted on Monday, April 28, 2003 7:52:21 PM by doug from upland

Hillary Rodham Clinton has finished her book. It will hit the bookstores soon. Unfortunately, she did not do a chapter on Juanita Broaddrick. If any of your friends actually buy her work of fiction, please give them this additional chapter to read. Someone had to do it, and I was glad to be of service.

(SUPPLEMENTAL CHAPTER - ghostwriter Doug from Upland)

I never wanted to write this (expletive deleted) chapter, but the (expletive deleted) at the publishing company told me I would have to give back all the money. So, here we go.

Bill grew tired of me very quickly. When Chelsea was born, I once heard him singing that he wanted a d-i-v-o-r-c-e. He really is a selfish (expletive deleted), but I needed him to get where I wanted to go. Oh, well, I have gotten by with my sex toys, an occasional fling with a female, and some good times with Vince. I sure do miss him.

Two things worried me during the 1992 campaign. One was Juanita Broaddrick and the other is a woman I will not reveal. The second was a rape victim of my husband during his first term of governor. I still worry that she will come forward.

After serving as attorney general, we had discussed running for Senate in 1978. David Pryor was planning his second run, and the field for the Democratic nomination included Jim Guy Tucker and Ray Thornton. Pryor actually convinced Bill to go for the governorship, although the Senate really was our first choice. With info we had gathered from the office of the attorney general, we could have dirtied up anyone who posed a challenge to us.

Juanita Broaddrick. What can I say? She almost kept us out of the White House and almost got Bill convicted in the Senate.

Broaddrick had volunteered to work on Bill’s campaign after an earlier meeting at her care facility. Bill handed her some load of crap about how he was really concerned with care facilities such as hers. Like most people, she fell for it.

It was an April day that I remember vividly. It was a day that almost destroyed everything. I got word from someone who was spying on Bill for me. Yes, I knew he would screw anything that walked, but as long as he was my meal ticket to power, I was determined not to get off the gravy train. In this case, however, the report hit me right in the gut. He assaulted and hurt Broaddrick. What in the hell was he thinking?

I dropped what I was doing and without knocking stormed into a strategy meeting of Larry Nichols, whom I never trusted, and Raymond “Buddy” Young. Young knew better than to ever cross me.

“You’ll never guess what the (expletive deleted) has done now,” I screamed. “He tried to rape some bitch.” I knew it was more than a try and had no doubt that he did it. But I just couldn’t say it.

So I looked at Nichols and Young and said to them that one of them had better squash this (expletive deleted) story or heads were going to roll. They knew I was serious.

Broaddrick’s marriage (she was known as Hickey at the time), I had discovered, was over. She was seeing another man whom would later become her husband. I knew she was in a precarious position. It was 1978 in Arkansas. A very powerful man in a one-party state has assaulted her. He was a popular attorney general. Even if she had come forward, who would believe her? The double whammy was that she would get no strength from her husband because their relationship was over.

A few weeks later, I was not surprised to see Broaddrick attend a campaign event to which she had committed. She was very important in the campaign, had all the campaign materials, and would not have a good enough excuse for her husband as to why she couldn’t attend. No matter what sickness she may have feigned, she had to be there.

On the way to the event from the airport, I told the driver that Bill had talked so much about Juanita and that I was so anxious to meet her.

When I got there, I wasted no time. I entered the room, headed directly for her, and grabbed her hand. My memory is flawless, and I remember every detail about everything. Too bad for the fools from Ken Starr’s office that “I can’t recall” is just a lawyer’s ploy. Those idiots were putty in my hands.

I thanked Juanita for everything she has done for Bill. But I didn’t let go. I drew her closer to me and looked at her with as cold a stare as I could muster. “Everything you do for Bill,” I repeated. Judging by the look on her face, I could tell she was frightened, shaken, and definitely got the message. In very short order, she left the event. Broaddrick was taken out of play that night as an obstacle. But in 1992, I still had some worries.

Fortunately, the right wing Clinton haters did not have Broaddrick come forward sooner. It would have sent us back to Arkansas, resulted in a divorce, and sent me to greener pastures. At least on the bright side, I would have been able to get away from the lowlife hicks in that pathetic state. Ma and Pa kettle can kiss my ass.

When the Paula Jones case was not settled, I went ballistic. I had told the (expletive deleted) attorneys to quietly settle this without an apology and make it go away. But the (expletive deleted) idiots could not even do that simple task. It takes a (expletive deleted) village to settle a case I guess.

If it were necessary, I would have paid Jones a hundred grand to go away. Hell, we could have gotten that from Lassater and Tyson.

When Bruce Lindsey convinced her counsel that a simple affidavit would keep her out of court, I thought the problem was solved. Rape is traumatic. She didn’t want to relive it in public. She certainly didn’t want to be grilled under oath, subsequently reading salacious headlines in the Enquirer, Star, (expletive deleted) Washington Times, and Wall Street Journal. It really was a good way out for her.

But the plan all turned to (expletive deleted) when we discovered that Broaddrick was going to be called in the Jones case. Phillip Yoakum and other yahoos had pushed this (expletive deleted) story and were determined to destroy us. I confronted Lindsey. He took an ashtray to the side of his head because he let this thing get out of hand.

It was a horrible time for me. I couldn’t sleep. Bill could even hear me from his bedroom asking Eleanor Roosevelt for help. What would NOW do? They didn’t like us trashing women in public but pretty much had been AWOL in this whole thing. Their big mouths could be damaging if they turned against us. Fortunately, we gave them taxpayer money, I had certain info in FBI files, and Bill’s strong abortion stand got them to take a dive for us. I sometimes daydreamed, picturing the face of several NOW leaders on the body of Roberto Duran saying “No mas.”

Lindsey and I had many late night meetings to discuss keeping a lid on this thing. Just like we did to others who might turn on us, we had a plan of attack to go after Broaddrick’s credibility and lessen her impact. If things had reached meltdown, we even had discussed calling in Terry Lenzner and arranging an “accident.” He was of great help in 1992. No one can intimidate witnesses like Lenzner. Broaddrick was fortunate indeed that Trent Lott kept her away from a national television audience in front of the Senate. I could not let that happen.

By the way, I want to issue a few warnings to a few people who are still a pain in my butt. David Schippers, I am pretty damned tired of hearing you speak about me in public and in that silly little book your wrote. When I make it back to the White House, you are going to pay.

And to you sitting in front of your keyboard in Fresno, California. Yes, you, Jim Robinson. You are going to pay dearly before I am finished. Count on it.

So that, ladies and gentlemen, is how a rapist managed to survive in office. I am damned good at what I do. It is so easy to get really foolish little people and intellectuals to stick with us. Perky Katie Couric has been one of our greatest assets and shills. How funny. She still calls herself a “jounalist.” What a sense of humor.

And how about that Joe Conason. I doubt that there has ever been a more loyal buttboy.

Here is the lesson we have taught to everyone. (Expletive deleted) with me and you will be the one who gets (expletive deleted).