Repost from the other thread...
Parents, and a bunch of posters on this thread are missing a couple important points.
A parent does not ‘own’ an adult child, regardless of any work contract/agreements or whatnot. By all accounts she was/is a top student and headed in a good direction in her chosen career. Parents can make whatever demands they want outside that. All day long. But they have ZERO ‘Right’ to dictate squat to an adult.
Now second, If a parent ‘feels’ they have the ‘right’ to treat a 21 yo like a 5 yo at her first slumber party, I believe that adult child id better off without having insane parents in their life. Perhaps forever if needed.
Because next it will be a nonstop pry into choosing a husband, dictating terms of their marriage, dictating terms of raising children, dictating what school THOSE CHILDREN go to.....
It will never end.
And all the people here siding with the parents should get to know an adult child who suffered through that absolute hell before opining the kid is the problem.
Perhaps in some cases they are. Perhaps this one is too. But I maintain that no ‘parent’ owns the life or any aspect thereof, of an adult child, period.
And in cases where a split happens because a parent refuses to accept their boundaries as a parent and as another human being,, it is the fault of Mommie and Daddy Dearest regardless of how much they spend on college.
You must have missed the point that the parents were trying to get mental help for their adult child.
Ummmmm. YOU seem to be missing a point.
For what reason couldn't this 21 yo have taken the computer and cell phone and driven (in a car the parents bought her?) the 600 miles to their house and said, "I don't need your spying stuff. (I don't need your car.) I don't need you to pay my college bills. I don't need your spending money. I'll get a job and do it myself," in her first semester instead of suing in the last year she was going to be there?
She didn't have to accept ANY of that stuff from them if it was such an onerous life that they required of her.
It's been done before by many teenagers since the stone age and it'll be done by many more far, far into the future.
Or did they FORCE her to accept all of these things?
My seventeen year old daughter is in a special program where she gets both high school and college credits by attending our local community college. She’s a high school junior. I wouldn’t DREAM of contacting her professors. These people are contacting the instructors of a senior in college? They’re nuts.