Special Wed column ping. btw a tweet from Mark Schnyder of
Boston Radio Watch:
>>No one touches Howie Carr on local news days like this. There are many days like this in Boston.This why 96.9 is being donated to the Mayans
Who knew a kid from Quincy could be this lucky?
By Howie Carr | Wednesday, December 12, 2012 | http://www.bostonherald.com | Columnists
Photo by Mark Garfinkel
You’re Tim Cahill, and you just hit the Lottery.
A tie may be like kissing your sister, but a hung jury means you’re okay...
You’re Marsha Coakley, and what a revolting development this is.
You’re oh-for-three – Scott Brown, Scott Campbell, and now Tim Cahill.
You hired a new anti-corruption guy to get you a hack’s scalp or two, and what do you have to show for it? Just another run of those same old jokes.
If you want to hide something real good, just stick it in one of Marsha’s law books.
When it comes to finding crooked pols, Marsha will leave no stone unturned... except the one the perps are hiding under.
You’re Marsha Coakley, and you’ve haven’t been this embarrassed in court since Tooky Amirault got sprung.
You’re Tim Cahill, and you know every other ex-treasurer is breathing a sigh of relief.
Who knew in 2010 that Marsha had decided that putting your name and photo on the Unclaimed Money List was now a felony? Certainly not you, or Shannon O’Brien, or Joe Malone, or Bob Crane.
If your attorney, Brad Bailey, had been as good at politics as he was at criminal law, he’d still be the High Sheriff of Middlesex County.
You’re Tim Cahill, and thank God none of the jurors apparently noticed that monogram on your shirt on the front page of the Herald this morning – makes you look a little less the poor street kid from Quincy you’ve been pretending to be all these weeks.
You’re Marsha Coakley, and you know, you just know, that down on Northern Avenue, Carmen Ortiz is having a good chuckle right now.
You’re Marsha Coakley, and how come every other prosecutor with a million e-mails to wade through always gets a conviction, and you can’t.
To paraphrase John Kerry, can I get me a hunting license for a House speaker here?
No? You mean Carmen Ortiz has first dibs on that too? Is it too late to ask Deval for one of those judgeships he’ll be handing out as soon as Mary-Ellen Manning is gone from the Governor’s Council?
You’re Tim Cahill, and does anyone need any leaves raked?
You used to have a little restaurant – Fisticuffs, er, I mean Handshakes – so maybe you could open a pub like Sen. Bob Hedlund.
You’re Marsha Coakley, and is it too late to indict Dianne Wilkerson and Chuck “Superfly” Turner?
You’re Marsha Coakley, and why, oh why didn’t you skip that premature victory tour to Washington at the end of 2009? Why didn’t you just keep campaigning for the Senate seat Brown won?
You’re Tim Cahill, and why, oh why didn’t you just skip that run for governor in 2010? Why didn’t you just keep running for re-election for treasurer?
Article URL: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1061181485
Thu column ping—a bit of yesterday’s web exclusive
re-written with at least one idea from a listener!
(”Technically, it is not illegal to be Tim Cahill in Massachusetts.”) And Howie put in one quip he made
during the Chumpline, about Mistral/Mistrial.
Chalk up yet another flub to Marsha
By Howie Carr | Thursday, December 13, 2012 | http://www.bostonherald.com | Columnists
You’re Martha Coakley, and you’re wondering, who the hell talked you into indicting Tim Cahill.
You set up this whole new anti-corruption unit to get yourself a hack’s scalp or two, and what do you have to show for it? Just another round of those same old jokes about “Marsha” Coakley.
If you want to hide something real good, just stick it in one of Marsha’s law books.
When it comes to finding crooked pols, Marsha will leave no stone unturned ... except the one the perps are hiding under.
Somewhere Tooky Amirault is smiling.
Old Marsha Coakley quote: “Technically, it is not illegal to be illegal in Massachusetts.”
New Marsha Coakley quote: “Technically, it is not illegal to be Tim Cahill in Massachusetts.”
Tim Cahill is a laughingstock, but suddenly when he goes up against Marsha, he turns into Scott Brown — the Scott Brown of 2010.
Is it too late to indict Dianne Wilkerson and Chuck Turner one more time? To paraphrase John Kerry, can I get me a hunting license for a House speaker here?
If only you could have charged Cahill with open and gross stupidity. ...
But now he gets to limp back to the hospitality industry.
There’s already that chi-chi joint on Columbus Avenue named Mistral, so maybe Cahill can call his place Mistrial.
Meet your friends in the Unindicted Coconspirator Room! Order the hottest new drink in town, the Mad Marsha Martini.
You’re Marsha Coakley, and AG seemed like such a comfortable gig. All you had to do was go along to get along, like the corrupt sheriff in Jim Thompson’s novel “Pop. 1280,” who knew he had it made “as long as I didn’t arrest no one unless I just couldn’t get out of it and they didn’t amount to nothin’.”
You know, someone like ex-state Rep. Brian Wallace of Southie.
Why didn’t you just go the Wallace route with Cahill — refer the case to the State Ethics Commission and settle for a heavy fine ($35,000). Brian Wallace, a poor little fat guy, his life ruined for unitemized Twinkie purchases.
You’re Marsha Coakley, and you know, you just know, that down on Northern Avenue, Carmen Ortiz is having a good chuckle right now.
And you also realize that Gov. Patrick really does want her to succeed him, because for one thing, she’s not from Massachusetts, and you are, which means you can never really be part of the Deval gang.
How come every other prosecutor with a million e-mails for evidence can get a conviction, and you can’t?
You’re Marsha Coakley, and why didn’t you skip that fundraiser in D.C. at the end of 2009? Why didn’t you shut up about “standing outside Fenway Park [map]” in the cold? Why didn’t you know that Curt Schilling [stats] was not just “another Yankee fan.”
Why oh why oh why?
If wishes were horses, Marsha Coakley would fly.
Article URL: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1061181602