Any man who served on tincans in war is a real man.
I can recommend two EXCELLENT books that touch on a lot of that sentiment you voiced. One of them is "Halsey's Typhoon" and the other is "Neptune's Inferno"."Neptune's Inferno"
(check out the link for a WSJ review of "Neptune's Inferno"...very good. The NYT probably never heard of it.)
If you are interested, both stories are extraordinary.