* * * N A T I O N A L W H E A T H E R S E R V I C E * * *
09/05/2012 09:00 Charolette
The National Wheather Service is issuing this important Wheather Advisery. Please adjust your schedule accordingly.
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Gail force hot air has formed a topical depression over Charolette, North Carolina. At this point in time, forcast models are predicting pockets of escaping stagnant back room air broken up by swirling masses of bitter angst.
By Thursday evening local time, Charolette can expect a considerable amount of moisture on the foreheads of officials at the Democrat National Convention. Expected appearances by Leftist players throughout the region have vaporized. Attendence at Bank of America Stadium could be deep under water by Thursday evening.
The National Wheather Service is now issuing an Inclement Wheather Warning. Plans for one outdoor event should be canceled immediately. Failing to do so could result in a flood of embarrassment.
Any busing plans to or from BofA Stadium should be re-evaluated.
Most Democrats should remain in their homes and wait for further alerts, unless directed to do otherwise.
President Obama has declared BofA Stadium a disaster area, and has made funds available to compensate owners who were monetarily damaged.
The Presidential Press Secretary has made public this press release: In excess of 55 hours before Tropical Depression Obama was to strike Bank of America Stadium in Charolette, we have activated our national disaster plan. Plans for Bank of America Stadium have been cancelled. Democrats who had tickets, and are thus victimized, are being urged to go to Warner Cable Arena, for temporary housing. A limited number of empty chairs are still available. Those who can't make it to the stadium, should remain in their homes, and think about how they can bail water for the best president our nation has ever had.
More information will be released as this administraton's needs warrant.
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