Ken Brockman reporting-- Paul Ryan has been named Mitt Romney's VP running mate... 
and we now take you to the Senate Rotunda for remarks by Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid--
Well, I now can report that an anonymous caller told me... 
that Paul Ryan beats his wife with a fireplace poker--
Also, I was told Paul Ryan... 
is know for browsing the world wide web for child pornography--
And he secretly runs... 
a covert dog fighting ring in a barn outside Jamesville, Wisconsin--
I get no joy from this information and report it... 
simply as my duty to be a good American!
We now take you to Joe Soptic... 
for his comments on Senator Reid's facts--
Wow, Senator Reid, I am so awed by your truth, I find I must also report that when Mitt Romney was killing my wife... 
Paul Ryan was his lookout and getaway driver--
And we also have remarks by Stephanie Cutter... 
on the Ryan selection--
Paul Ryan was the dirty dog... 
that photoshopped me into that photo... 
with President Obama!
And he doctored that conference call with Joe Soptic... 
editing my voice in to it when I have never met nor talked to Joe Soptic at any time in my whole life!
President Obama has also spoke out about Paul Ryan... 
saying he welcomes the Congressman to the race--
Paul Ryan brings a wealth of talent to this election... 
Talent, I say, in championing legislation that will give billionaires untold trillions of dollars in tax cuts, destroy Medicare and Medicare, starve the poor and elderly in doing away with Food Stamps, remove from the voter rolls all Blacks, Hispanics and Gays. And finally, Ryan will ramp up the continuing total war the GOP has on women and their reproductive rights. It is "Romnyhood & Ryan, Rape and Pillage" for the Radical Right-Wing GOP!
Now, we must stop all these negative attack ads... 
on me and get back to trashing the evil Romney and his spawn from hell, Paul Ryan!
There you have all the BREAKING NEWS this objective journalist can report. We now return you to this thread already playing... This has been Ken Brockman reporting.