[TurboZamboni]

I thought this only applied for not cheering enough for Dear Leader.

[null and void]

Leatherhead?

Very gently, when my mind was assured again, did they break to me what they had learned of the fate of Leatherhead. Two days after I was imprisoned it had been destroyed, with every soul in it, by a Martian. He had swept it out of existence, as it seemed, without any provocation, as a boy might crush an ant hill, in the mere wantonness of power.

I thought it had been destroyed?

[American in Israel]

[Mr Ramsbotham]

Surrey Police said Mr Worsfold, from Ockham, had a legal folding knife and several rubber knives on him ...

Thank God he wasn't holding Ockham's razor.

[Sir Napsalot]

From The Onion News Network, right?

Makes me think of Ren and Stimpy’s Happy Pill. “I Am SO HAPPY....” with tears and gritted teeth.

[USMCPOP]

“...but as he was wearing his logo on his uniform he worries it may affect his reputation and has asked for a letter of exoneration from police....”

Yep, we all need letters from the police. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

[Elpasser]

Coming soon to your street...

No need for probable cause, of course.

[sinsofsolarempirefan]

Pardon my ignorance, but how can a guy with Parkinson’s disease do a taekwondo demonstration if it has got to the stage where he can’t even smile anymore?

[bigbob]

A clear case of facial profiling!

[Guyin4Os]

As a subject of the crown, his facial expressions are not his own, they belong to the Queen. Parkinson’s disease is no excuse.

[SparkyBass]

I've seen "The Big Book of British Smiles"... they gonna have to lock up a whole lot more folks!

[ClearCase_guy]

Spanish lady come to me, she lays on me this rose
It rainbow spirals round and round, it trembles and explodes
It left a smoking crater of my mind I like to blow away
But the heat came round and busted me for smiling on a cloudy day
— Grateful Dead