Posted on 08/07/2012 1:28:40 PM PDT by Hojczyk
Quite simply, growing up with gay parents was very difficult, and not because of prejudice from neighbors. People in our community didn’t really know what was going on in the house. To most outside observers, I was a well-raised, high-achieving child, finishing high school with straight A’s.
Inside, however, I was confused. When your home life is so drastically different from everyone around you, in a fundamental way striking at basic physical relations, you grow up weird. I have no mental health disorders or biological conditions. I just grew up in a house so unusual that I was destined to exist as a social outcast.
My peers learned all the unwritten rules of decorum and body language in their homes; they understood what was appropriate to say in certain settings and what wasn’t; they learned both traditionally masculine and traditionally feminine social mechanisms.
I had no male figure at all to follow, and my mother and her partner were both unlike traditional fathers or traditional mothers. As a result, I had very few recognizable social cues to offer potential male or female friends, since I was neither confident nor sensitive to others. Thus I befriended people rarely and alienated others easily. Gay people who grew up in straight parents’ households may have struggled with their sexual orientation; but when it came to the vast social universe of adaptations not dealing with sexuality—how to act, how to speak, how to behave—they had the advantage of learning at home. Many gays don’t realize what a blessing it was to be reared in a traditional home.
(Excerpt) Read more at thepublicdiscourse.com ...
Interesting read, thanks.
“Not surprisingly, I left high school as a virgin....”
Obviously, that could only be attributed to being raised by lesbians.
...homosexuals desperately need therapy but are either shamed or denigrated if they seek it...
...so we ALL suffer.
Thanks so much for posting.
Very important piece, very enlightening, and I hope we hear a lot more of these stories (as I know they’re out there).
Wow. Wow, wow! What a great article. I recommend reading it in its entirety.
I did not grow up in a gay or bi household, but I am the product of two (hetero) artistic, atheistic intellectuals who did not relate well to outsiders, in a small Texas town. Needless to say, until I grew old enough to figure out the social changes I had to make to myself to be acceptable to society at large, I had a tough life. Growing up, I thought “weirdo” must be my middle name, as it was applied to me so often. So I really identify with the author of this piece.
So did I ... and I was raised by my biological mother and father. Not screwing around in school used to be considered a desirable outcome for children, but I guess that has changed.
I’m perceptive enough to notice that liberal social policies don’t actually help people in those conditions. Especially damning is the liberal attitude that we shouldn’t be judgmental about sex. In the Bronx gay world, I cleaned out enough apartments of men who’d died of AIDS to understand that resistance to sexual temptation is central to any kind of humane society. Sex can be hurtful not only because of infectious diseases but also because it leaves us vulnerable and more likely to cling to people who don’t love us, mourn those who leave us, and not know how to escape those who need us but whom we don’t love. The left understands none of that. That’s why I am conservative.
Well written article. Thanks !
If you meant that as sarcasm, you need to read the whole article.
How does a child in such a circumstance learn to succeed in a pair-bonded world?
How do they come to know the yin and yang of the entirety of the animal kingdom?
Yes, such a child would find the world as strange as if it were another planet.
Interesting. He brought up some points I had never thought of.
bookmark this
Apparently my dad was a lesbian too.
Wow, this man has really learned something.
Great post. He explains perfectly what I have thought for a long time about of children of same-sex partners. I can extrapolate further—his experiences are similar to those children of any seriously dysfunctional family, without the same-sex experiences. God bless him. I hope he has happiness and joy in his life. Thanks for the post.
I am the product of two (hetero) artistic, atheistic intellectuals who did not relate well to outsiders, in a small Texas town.”
You should tell your story! Even a fictionalized version. As a fine of artists, and intellectuals, and small TExas towns (atheists, not so much...), I think that is a fascinating mix and I can see how it would be wild for you.
You should tell your story! Change the names, protect the innocent, but get your story out!
This applies to heterosexual, too. Especially ones from dysfunctional families. (I have resembled the remarks above!)
I think a lot of us see our selves in the author, or know of others like the author,
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