Two Classes, Divided by ‘I Do’

New York Times ^ | July 14, 2012 | JASON DePARLE

[reaganaut1]

ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Jessica Schairer has so much in common with her boss, Chris Faulkner, that a visitor to the day care center they run might get them confused.

They are both friendly white women from modest Midwestern backgrounds who left for college with conventional hopes of marriage, motherhood and career. They both have children in elementary school. They pass their days in similar ways: juggling toddlers, coaching teachers and swapping small secrets that mark them as friends. They even got tattoos together. Though Ms. Faulkner, as the boss, earns more money, the difference is a gap, not a chasm.

But a friendship that evokes parity by day becomes a study of inequality at night and a testament to the way family structure deepens class divides. Ms. Faulkner is married and living on two paychecks, while Ms. Schairer is raising her children by herself. That gives the Faulkner family a profound advantage in income and nurturing time, and makes their children statistically more likely to finish college, find good jobs and form stable marriages.

Ms. Faulkner goes home to a trim subdivision and weekends crowded with children’s events. Ms. Schairer’s rent consumes more than half her income, and she scrapes by on food stamps.

“I see Chris’s kids — they’re in swimming and karate and baseball and Boy Scouts, and it seems like it’s always her or her husband who’s able to make it there,” Ms. Schairer said. “That’s something I wish I could do for my kids. But number one, that stuff costs a lot of money and, two, I just don’t have the time.”

The economic storms of recent years have raised concerns about growing inequality and questions about a core national faith, that even Americans of humble backgrounds have a good chance of getting ahead.

[ProtectOurFreedom]

It is SO unfair that Ms. Faulkner gets to go home to a trim subdivision with neatly mowed lawns, pretty flowers and a nice two-story colonial.

I look forward to the day when the State has finally made us ALL equal.

[ladyjane]

Steveon sure has a lot of toys for a poor boy. Too bad his mother doesn’t insist that he clean up his room. It looks like a pigsty.

[Bigg Red]

...responsible guys pay to support their children; losers don’t.

&&&
And responsible women don’t have children until they are married to a responsible and honorable man.

[Bigg Red]

I agree with all that you said.

Re: She made her choice to sleep with and have children with a man without being married, and sadly they all have to face the fallout.

The saddest part is that the children, who had no say in their parents’ bad choices, are forced to deal with the consequences of said choices.

[PapaBear3625]

It is not entirely coincidental that the unwed mother profiled in the story was ditched by her black boyfriend after they had three children. Obama's father similarly ditched his family. It would be nice if more white women woke up and looked at the rates at which black men desert their families. Once upon a time families could explain such things to their daughters, but now stating such facts is called racist. Ask John Derbyshire.

But black boyfriends are no much more exciting and edgy than the boring middle class white guys she would otherwise be stuck with.

There's a girl in my neighborhood who got pregnant by her black boyfriend. The kid is being raised by her parents, for the most part. I don't see her as having much of a future. What they don't tell girls is that men are much less likely to marry a woman who comes with some one else's kids. And even less likely if the kids are black.

[cherry]

“It is the privileged Americans who are marrying, and marrying helps them stay privileged,” said Andrew Cherlin, a sociologist at Johns Hopkins University"

the tone of this article is that those who marry and have successful lives SHOULD BE STOPPED because its not fair compared to the group that wants sex outside of marriage and children and then wonder why they can never get ahead....

PUNISH the married people for doing it the right way.... '

[cherry]

“It is the privileged Americans who are marrying, and marrying helps them stay privileged,” said Andrew Cherlin, a sociologist at Johns Hopkins University"

the tone of this article is that those who marry and have successful lives SHOULD BE STOPPED because its not fair compared to the group that wants sex outside of marriage and children and then wonder why they can never get ahead....

PUNISH the married people for doing it the right way.... '

[Melas]

I take it you don’t often go into young boys bedrooms? A couple plastic $10 guns, and you call that a lot of toys?

Most boys his age that I know will have a trunk full of those, along with a computer, iPad, iPod, Xbox, Playstation, and a shelf full of games and DVD’s. The joke that it’s not punishment to send a kid to his room is now so ubiquitous that it is stale. It’s more true than it is funny.

I do see poverty in that kid’s bedroom.

[Melas]

now stating such facts is called racist. Ask John Derbyshire.

Whoa...don't know I missed that little tidbit.

John Derbyshire is as racist as they come. Kudos to Lowry for canning him.

[PapaBear3625]

John Derbyshire is as racist as they come. Kudos to Lowry for canning him.

Some think he's racist. Others think he's just telling the truth. Perhaps the truth IS racist these days. And compared to what an increasing number of my friends are saying, Derby's quite moderate.

[Melas]

compared to what an increasing number of my friends are saying, Derby's quite moderate

If your friends are making looking Derby look even the least bit moderate, you must be hanging around skinheads and white nationalists.

[PapaBear3625]

Have you taken a look at the comments section of any news article about black-on-white violence? Many of the comments there would have been considered too "over the top" by many skinheads a few years ago.

Over here is Derby's latest. Please explain to us unenlightened souls what is so extremely racist about what he points out?

[Melas]

Me, give Taki Theodoracopulos hits? I don’t think so.

[PapaBear3625]

To each his own. I don’t go to Taki’s site much, I don’t recall seeing anything there that I found objectionable. I’ve read several of Darby’s articles, didn’t see much there that I disagreed with. Your mileage may vary.

[ladyjane]

No, I don’t go into boys’ bedrooms. I frequently see how poorly they behave in public so it’s not surprising they are allowed to keep their rooms looking like pigstys. BTW, the other boy’s room didn’t look that bad.

[Melas]

I never commented on the mess, only his lack of possessions.

[roadcat]

There's a girl in my neighborhood who got pregnant by her black boyfriend. The kid is being raised by her parents, for the most part. I don't see her as having much of a future. What they don't tell girls is that men are much less likely to marry a woman who comes with some one else's kids. And even less likely if the kids are black.

I assume the girl is white. I have a neighbor girl like that. White, had a fling with a black guy, twice, and has two half-black kids and is on welfare living with her old father. I think men would never marry her, not because of the kids but because she is a mess on alcohol and drugs. Liberals raise rotten kids who make lousy decisions (my daughters are the same age, growing up and playing with that girl, and my daughters are doing well with their own families - only difference is the parenting by us).

[kalee]

Bttt

[ladyjane]

Again I don’t have to go into boys’ bedrooms very often but the bedroom of the first boy was filled with a lot of toys and was very messy. The second boy had a much neater room and I didn’t see any toys. If what you say is correct, the second boy has them but has put them away?

[dfwgator]

Rule #1 Actions have consequences
Rule #2 There is no substitute for Rule #1