[TheConservativeParty]

This just in, on the urging of Michelle Antoinette, President Mountain Dew has made an executive order that all Americans are required to have broccoli (without butter or cheese on it) today.

The generous and fair nature of President Mountain Dew was noted in the press, as our dear leader has given choice to the people in that they may choose to have the broccoli for either lunch OR dinner, whichever they prefer.

If any American is found to have not eaten their broccoli by 9pm central time, a tax of $25 dollars per violater will be imposed by the IRS. The tax will be taken directly from bank accounts without any notice.

[Lazamataz]

This just in, on the urging of Michelle Antoinette, President Mountain Dew has made an executive order that all Americans are required to have broccoli (without butter or cheese on it) today. The generous and fair nature of President Mountain Dew was noted in the press, as our dear leader has given choice to the people in that they may choose to have the broccoli for either lunch OR dinner, whichever they prefer. If any American is found to have not eaten their broccoli by 9pm central time, a tax of $25 dollars per violater will be imposed by the IRS. The tax will be taken directly from bank accounts without any notice.

American Populace: "YAY! It's BROCCOLI DAY AGAIN!!!!"

American Conservatives: "Hey, wait a second, this isn't right, forcing people to...."

American Liberals: "GAW DAMNED ANTI-VEGETABLE CONSERVATIVES!!! You are racist against the color GREEN!!!"