[Kathy in Alaska]

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These announcements actually appeared in a church bulletin or were announced in a church service:

1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

2. Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: “The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.”

3. Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

4 .Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

5. “Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.”

[SandRat]

One Sunday, after hearing a sermon about how the children of Israel left Egypt and wandered in the desert for 40 years, Johnny's mom asked him if he remembered what the pastor had talked about in the sermon.

"Sure," said Johnny, "He talked about the children of Israel and everything they did. What I want to know is what all the grownups were doing all the this time?"

LOL