[Nachum]

We're not as think as you drunk we were...

[PGR88]

drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things...

nose-painting, sleep, and urine. Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance: therefore, much drink may be said to be an equivocator with lechery: it makes him, and it mars him; it sets him on, and it takes him off; it persuades him, and disheartens him; makes him stand to, and not stand to; in conclusion, equivocates him in a sleep, and, giving him the lie, leaves him.

Shakespeare/Macbeth

[moehoward]

"You just wanna see what kinda milage you can get on a full tank..."

[aruanan]

The Post story also quotes multiple unnamed agents who defended their colleagues, explaining that having sex with prostitutes should have no impact on their ability to do their job; some sources also harkened back to 2009, when Secret Service agents assigned to President Clinton partied it up with strippers. “Some guys could have a good time Wednesday night, and Friday morning they would be on their post, shaved and ready to go,” said one agent.

The agents or the strippers?

[Zeppo]

Secret Service Agents: We Were Too Drunk To Have Sex

Didn't the 'Dead Kennedys' have a hit song about that?

Too drunk to... well... never mind.

[ozzymandus]

I have used that excuse. It does not work.

[Buckeye McFrog]

ViDoz. 50% Viagra, 50% No Doz.

Coming soon, from your friends at Pfizer.

[GSWarrior]

I believe the Dead Kennedys wrote a song about this.

[Vendome]

Too drunk to have sex?

So you are pussies and can’t hold yer liquor?

You needed to be bounced from the SS a long time ago then.

You are weak as a newborn baby’s grip.

[TigersEye]

If their wives accept that story then everyone else should. /s