Of course they are.
As a teacher in public schools, I can say that the recent rise of bullying is DIRECTLY caused by rules that punish kids equally whether they bully or defend themselves.
Consider a kid who is a chronic troublemaker. Knowing he can get a 10 day suspension, and his general apathy toward school, and the PS3 or Xbox waiting for him at home, it’s almost enticing for him to find someone to beat up.
And, at least in our school, kids who participate in any extracurricular activities like sports or organizations, know they can be kicked out of these activities if they get a suspension. So, in effect, the punishment is GREATER for kids who actually care about something and take some pride in participating in school activities.
And of course, it doesn’t matter how much the bully threatens, because if he isn’t caught in the act, all the teachers can do is document the incidents and perhaps refer the bully to the counselor. Any more, and parents will get lawyers involved, claiming that the staff is persecuting their kids.
So the effect is the bullies know they’ll have an easy 10 day vacation, and not have to risk retaliation because a good kid might be reluctant to fight back.
The good kids know that if they defend themselves, they’ll have a suspension on their permanent record and not be allowed to participate in any extracurricular activities.
Is there a sane adult that really believes this helps bullying?
But, instead of using common sense, those who make school laws (most of whom have never set foot in a classroom since graduation) decide to handle it through anti-bullying programs, which are useless. Bullies become bullies because they DON’T CARE how their actions affect others. What good will a feel-good anti-bullying program do for a bully?
It is all about conditioning students to rely on authority for everything and making them dependent.
Personally, though, I always have the bad luck of looking the other way when good kids fight back against a bully. And, if the good kid seems to be getting the better of a bully, I, with my chronic foot pain, sometimes have a hard time getting to the fight to break it up before the bully might get a few good shots in the face. Which I never see.
*wink*
When my daughter was in school a few years back when this really got started, she brought home the paper work from school that we had to ‘read together and sign.
I typed up the alternative version that said basically “If assaulted by a ‘bully’ my daughter will defend herself to the full extent of her ability and regardless of the outcome, the school will be sued for allowing that assault to take place. During her suspension, I will take vacation days from work and we will have the time of our lives doing all the things she wants to do. There will be no ‘punishment’, rather it will be a great time for her. Should the school choose to expel her, she will get a GED and the school loses money.”
In short, I made it clear that they could “urinate up a rope’. I never did sign their version and she presented them with ours.
I went to the High School to make sure his story was correct. It was the truth. I asked the principal what he was supposed to do? The principal said he should have tried to “block the blows” but not punch back. I told the principal if he had done that he would gotten severely beaten. I asked what he would do then. He said they would call the local cops. Which they did as he kicked the aggressors butt. Fortunately the local prosecutor did not have her head up her butt like the principal of the school.
I asked the principal if I attacked him viciously and put his life in danger would he just try to block my punches? He said nothing.
I went home and told my son he did the right thing and I would expect him try and avoid a fight but if it is going to happen, kick his ass.
On his first day of wrestling club, my son, then in fourth grade was mugged in the parking lot of the middle school, where the club met. I told him if it happened again and he chose to use his wrestling skills to defend himself, he would not be in trouble with me. His tears turned to a smile. The next day, he was attacked again by the same kid. One perfectly executed takedown later, the bully was on his back on the pavement, whimpering for his Mommy.
But as a senior, on the day of the big meet, he was thrown to the ground in the men’s room by one of Holder’s people. My son fully understood the zero tolerance policy. He knew he would be suspended and miss the meet. You could say he took one for the team. Later, his black teammates learned of the attack and took care of business with the perpetrator back in the ‘hood.
I paid a visit to the principal. He told me if he’d learned of the attack, he would have suspended both boys. The reason he gave me was
that it’s too hard to figure out who was at fault.