Jane died young in her 40s, possibly from Addison’s disease, a spinster/single.
Taking marital advice from her doesn’t make a lot of sense (or sensibility).
Women have been terribly propagandized that:
1) They *must* become sexually active at as young an age as possible, even before adolescence, or they are to be vilified as “unattractive”, “unpopular”, and “unwanted”. Above all else, they *must* lose their virginity.
2) The purpose of sex is *just* pleasure, not reproduction, and is enabled by birth control, abortion, a multitude of sexual partners, frequent masturbation, and aversion to marriage or at least to see marriage as “just a piece of paper”. A convenience. All STDs can be cured. And homosexual experimentation is to be encouraged as “harmless fun”.
3) Single parenthood is seen as a viable option. This is extremely dangerous, because children, especially boys, raised by single mothers have a 60% greater chance of becoming criminal offenders. This threatens all society.
The bottom line is that this propaganda is not just a lie, but very dangerous to the health, well-being, and reproductive health of women. Typically, girls and boys do *not* have healthy sexual relationships, but are convinced beyond doubt that all their peers do, and they personally are failures for not having several sexual relationships while still in school.
Those girls who are openly attacked are those that advocate abstinence, which has become a political issue, and they get considerable pressure to shut up and not encourage their peers to protect themselves and their future offspring.
And yes, it is the Democrat party behind a lot of this social pressure.
Children need parental and social guidance to the effect:
1) Very few of their peers are sexually active on a regular basis, and those that are were often molested as young children, likely by family members. A larger group have had sex, “for the sake of having it and not being a virgin anymore.” They could not take the social and peer pressure. Likely they also did not enjoy their experience, and after a brief period of infatuation, want nothing else to do with the person they had sex with.
2) Their peers and they have been under intense pressure and propaganda, which has made many of them deeply insecure about their sexuality. This will make future relations with the opposite sex much harder. They will also frequently experience “performance anxiety”, expecting to act and for their partner to act, like porn stars.
3) Sex is far less important that making strong social bonds with those of the opposite gender. Not easy, as again they have been propagandized that all relationships *must* be flirtatious and sexual in character. Many descend to just a level of crudeness: “Have sex with me or I won’t talk to you”, is a red flag; though some people will respond to such bluntness. It is always a mistake.
Social bonds are 70% of marriage. Privacy is 25%. Sex is the other 5%, if that. If a marriage is falling apart, having children will not make it stronger.
4) Sex and children are physically and energetically taxing. Many people are so internally weak that they should never even try to have children. Some have enough for children, but have to reserve sex just for that purpose, or they won’t have enough. And there are the lucky few who have enough for both purposes, but they are not as common as you might imagine.
And there are also a goodly number of people who are so internally weak that even though they “sort of” want to have sex, they don’t go to the effort of trying to get sex, so are effectively “asexual”.
5) Pornography is both ridiculous and destructive. Even porn actors admit that in private they do not have sex like that, it is strictly for the camera. The saying that “most sex is mental” is quite accurate.
I have a sign in my office I can read right now as I eat my lunch.
“21 Suggestions for SUCCESS” and it has things like “Give people more than they expect, and do it cheerfully”, “Be decisive, even if it means you’ll sometimes be wrong”, “Become the most postive and enthusiastic person you know”, “Don’t do anything that wouldn’t make your Mom proud”, “Stop blaming others, take responsibility for all areas of your life”, and so on.
You know what the #1 thing at the top of the list is?
“Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.”
I think that is 100% true.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120741/
Movie gave us memorable lines like this;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDSdYMtn8zc
And who could forget this touching scene;
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Very interesting discussion on the thread. I will add another comment: Feminism is one of the main drivers of the ruination of marriage by ruining women's actual femininity and the real value of womanhood.
I’m sure the usual kerfluffle has erupted, but I think this could be an interesting book for my teenage daughters. We can pull up the costume dramas on the Netflix beeber, too.
I liked the point that “drama” is not the key to a good relationship. Many of the popular songs they listen to treat drama as the main attraction, overriding character, humor, common interests ...
She stops the story at the wedding.
My parents who are getting ready to celebrate 50 years together once gave me the best advise about marriage. It. Is. Work.
You thought the courtship was work? Ha! You ain't seen nothing yet.
You can marry your perfect mate and guess what? At some point they are going to get on your nerves.
They are going to say something that just pushes your buttons.
They are going to be stubborn when you are being perfectly reasonable.
They are going to leave their shoes where you can trip over them.
They are going to criticize the way you do things.
They are going to want to paint the house a color you just hate.
If you don't go into marriage knowing that you are going to have to work at it for the rest of your life you are in for a rude shock.
And the most shocking part is when you find out you can't change your spouse so you are going to have to change you.
If both parties are not willing to work at making a good marriage then you are not going to get that "Happily Ever After". Oh you might stay married but you won't be happy.
Happy marriages are built day by day and action by action. You learn to ignore things.
You learn to do things differently.
You learn to never allow a argument to be carried into the bedroom and to end it before you go to bed. Never carry a argument over to the next day. Even if you are right. Sometimes especially if you are right.
You learn to wake up every morning and thank God for your spouse and then think about what you can do that day that will make your spouse happy.
It doesn't stop until one of you dies. And only then will you find that yes, you actually did "live happily ever after."
Mr Wrong was wronged.