The Downside of Cohabiting Before Marriage

New York Times ^ | April 14, 2012 | Meg Jay

[doc1019]

Incurring G-d’s wrath might be a strong downside.

[freedomfiter2]

Couples who cohabit before marriage (and especially before an engagement or an otherwise clear commitment) tend to

be immoral people, which causes problems.

[Jonty30]

Simply marrying somebody who was already halfway out the door creates a situation where they will always be halfway our the door.

[Jonty30]

Simply marrying somebody who was already halfway out the door creates a situation where they will always be halfway our the door.

[Vigilanteman]

As my Dad's generation (and I) told my daughters, why would a guy ever buy a cow if you give him milk for free?

Crude but effective.

[beebuster2000]

fascinating, i guess the more we learn the more we realize that many “traditional” things had a really good reason

[the invisib1e hand]

whatever. they wanted it until they were sick of it. their goodies turned to gravel in their insatiable stomachs. cry me a river.

[easternsky]

We always called it Shacking up

[bgill]

Then there’s the thrill of going against their parents wishes.

[St_Thomas_Aquinas]

-—fascinating, i guess the more we learn the more we realize that many “traditional” things had a really good reason-—

Yup.

[fabian]

yes indeed!

[DuncanWaring]

fascinating, i guess the more we learn the more we realize that many “traditional” things had a really good reason

Rudyard Kipling called them The Gods of the Copybook Headings.

[Jeff Chandler]

“We were sleeping over at each other’s places all the time,” she said. “We liked to be together, so it was cheaper and more convenient. It was a quick decision but if it didn’t work out there was a quick exit.”

Translation:

"I thought he was cute so I spread my legs for him. He liked getting laid so I started spreading my legs for him every night. But the cost of maintaining two apartments and buying gasoline to travel back and forth made it too expensive for me to keep putting out. So we moved in together. That way I can satisfy him sexually all the time and he can try me out, you know, like a test drive, to see if I'm worth marrying."
 
"I am woman. Hear me roar."

[Bellflower]

As my Dad's generation (and I) told my daughters, why would a guy ever buy a cow if you give him milk for free?

Or conversely, surprisingly it can often be the male who wants to marry, but the female is the one who wants to remain foot loose and fancy free.

[SkyDancer]

That’s what dating is all about. You learn about someone over time. You get to see what the other person is like just by what they do and how they act. Then too, a credit report is a must. I mean, you know ...

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

When you live together you are still in "dating" mode. You are on your best behavior. You live in fear that any little slip-up and you will be out the door. I had a friend who showed up at my place at two in the morning wanting to stay with me. She was sick and didn't want him to see her that way.

The strain it puts on the relationship is not healthy and the expectations are unrealistic.

You are a person. You are going to get sick, sweat, get grumpy, leave your socks on the floor and so on and so forth. A spouse understands this and will forgive you your trespasses because they know that they will need forgiving too. A Shack-up Honey usually won't.

[James C. Bennett]

"The Downside of Cohabiting Before Marriage"

In most parts of the world, and in Biblical times, you ended up having your head lopped off or smashed with stones. Fun times.

[donna]

In the 60’s, before hippies, no one lived in sin. Sometimes, there were whispers about “common law marriages”, but it wasn’t good.

[a fool in paradise]

When someone has shacked up with a half-dozen other partners, it’s a myth to pretend “they didn’t really count” like a marriage. No alimony or lawyers but everything else is the same except the ceremony.

Just as women who’ve had abortions pretend they never really got pregnant.

The sexual revolution was designed to smash monogamy (their phrase, not mine).