She’s the classic three-bag buffarilla. What’s that you say? A buffarilla is a cross between a buffalo and a gorilla. The three bag part, if you go to bed with her you need to put a bag on her head, one on your head in case her’s breaks, and the third on your license plate when you take her home afterwards.
If she’s as slutty as she claims to be you’d better add a 4th “bag”, maybe make it a double.