Posted on 01/19/2012 1:25:07 PM PST by Fractal Trader
Young couples have long signaled their devotion to each other by various means — the gift of a letterman jacket, or an exchange of class rings or ID bracelets. Best friends share locker combinations.
The digital era has given rise to a more intimate custom. It has become fashionable for young people to express their affection for each other by sharing their passwords to e-mail, Facebook and other accounts. Boyfriends and girlfriends sometimes even create identical passwords, and let each other read their private e-mails and texts.
They say they know such digital entanglements are risky, because a souring relationship can lead to people using online secrets against each other. But that, they say, is part of what makes the symbolism of the shared password so powerful.
“It’s a sign of trust,” Tiffany Carandang, a high school senior in San Francisco, said of the decision she and her boyfriend made several months ago to share passwords for e-mail and Facebook. “I have nothing to hide from him, and he has nothing to hide from me.”
[SNIP]
It doesn’t always end so well, of course. Changing a password is simple, but students, counselors and parents say that damage is often done before a password is changed, or that the sharing of online lives can be the reason a relationship falters.
The stories of fallout include a spurned boyfriend in junior high who tries to humiliate his ex-girlfriend by spreading her e-mail secrets; tensions between significant others over scouring each other’s private messages for clues of disloyalty or infidelity; or grabbing a cellphone from a former best friend, unlocking it with a password and sending threatening texts to someone else.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
Haven't they heard of cooties? Well, at least it doesn't give them an STD.
I also have a friend who shared a Paypal account with his wife and he got a payment email for a Christmas gift. I think he was as bummed about spoiling the surprise as she was.
Nowadays many people in a relationship want to text you, e-mail you, call you, talk to you in person - read your texts, e-mails, and phone records - tell you every little thing that pops into their heads - and then they wonder why there is no mystery left and/or the other person feels smothered.
And to those people who surrender their passwords, I ask you to remember - a person values most what they strove to attain - and values least what falls into their lap. Once you give someone everything that you have easily - they tend to look for something else from someone else.
My wife doesn’t know any of my passwords, and I don’t know hers. And if I did I wouldn’t use them. There’s no point. I trust her, don’t need to check up on her, don’t want to, if I wanted to then I don’t trust her and we’ve got other issues.
This is an electronic trifling substituting for intimacy, in place of some substantial underlying value.
Guess that I'm boring. lol!!
Though, I *do* half-seriously tell her that she can't have my work passwords, and it's for her own safety. Maybe that gives her a Mission Impossible - style thrill?
I use KeePass to store my passwords. My wife knows where to find my password to KeePass in case anything happens to me. She can get at every single password in my life if she needs it. But as a rule, we don’t know, and don’t want to know, each others passwords unless we need to know.
But I’d never share my password with someone that didn’t have a specific need. It’s a practice that’s fraught with pitfalls.
But back when I was a teenager, and had very little of my own that I could bring to bear to prove my devotion to a woman, I could see my young and stupid self sharing a password with a girl to prove my dedication. When all you’ve got is a hammer...
I have a friend that “dated” this guy for a long while, if you can call hanging out on Pogo.com playing games all night and meeting for the occasional weekend dating.
She isn’t normally gullible and is 40, but she and her man friend exchanged passwords for everything. Now on Pogo you can pay $40 a year to play without the annoying ads and many do. She’s one of them.
Once they broke up, suddenly she was locked out of her own account because the password was changed. She’d stored her credit card info on Pogo so suddenly this man had her credit card number. He went around Pogo pretending to be her and doing things to get her banned.
Then he purchased things using her credit card. People stored in her email contacts suddenly got emails with nasty links to XXX sites and ended up getting viruses.
All in all, a nasty business. She learned the hard way not to take the step of sharing passwords just because you’d dated someone for a while.
I have a friend that “dated” this guy for a long while, if you can call hanging out on Pogo.com playing games all night and meeting for the occasional weekend dating.
She isn’t normally gullible and is 40, but she and her man friend exchanged passwords for everything. Now on Pogo you can pay $40 a year to play without the annoying ads and many do. She’s one of them.
Once they broke up, suddenly she was locked out of her own account because the password was changed. She’d stored her credit card info on Pogo so suddenly this man had her credit card number. He went around Pogo pretending to be her and doing things to get her banned.
Then he purchased things using her credit card. People stored in her email contacts suddenly got emails with nasty links to XXX sites and ended up getting viruses.
All in all, a nasty business. She learned the hard way not to take the step of sharing passwords just because you’d dated someone for a while.
Just wondering will the press ever start demanding that Obama admit if he’s ever made a mistake, as they insanely did against GWB?
How I posted on this thread instead of an Obama thread I have no idea.
It's just the reverse. It's clear evidence that there is no trust.
I do tech support for a gaming company, that sort of thing happens a lot.
“It’s clear evidence that there is no trust.”
You’re right, but in a day & age where these young women know marriage and children won’t be forthcoming, I guess they have to take what they can get...
I know a guy (slightly over 40) who shut up his live-in girlfriend by getting engaged - not to get married, but to a “commitment ceremony” - and even that would be a few years down the road (when he felt she’d be safely past childbearing age). There are no legal ramifications for him (he’s very well-read); he owns his own place free & clear, and she is his long-term entertainment/houseguest. There are no legal pitfalls, but he’s VERY careful not to have an “accident”.
I’ll bet it does. People just don’t seem to learn. I give my passwords to no one! Hubby and I share some at Amazon and such but no one else.
I bet you hear some interesting stories!
Depending on the state specifics, the lack of “legal ramifications” may be an illusion. It could be that a nasty breakup would only be ~more~ complicated, without the comparatively clearer rules of a marriage.
Just sayin’...
“It could be that a nasty breakup would only be ~more~ complicated, without the comparatively clearer rules of a marriage.”
Possibly; in any case she sure as hell doesn’t have his passwords. I think it is incredible that young men can get young women to settle for so little; I guess the women have no choice. Activism and legal meddling has destroyed the concept of marriage & family as we knew it (as they were intended to); now the women can deal with it.
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