I think that c-b 1's reply is close, or maybe right on for you. My wife has arthritis (RA and OA) and osteoporosis. she carries a heavy (to reduce recoil) .357 magnum (S&W 686, 4" barrel) loaded with medium velocity .357 mag personal defense rounds. The revolver has had a trigger job by S&W, and it's great for her. I recommend a similar revolver, or maybe a .357 Magnum S&W Ladysmith model 65 3" barrel, a little bit lighter and smaller, and in any .357 Magnum you can choose to carry .38 Special lower recoiling less powerful ammo.
I agree with you, but I don’t consider a 686 a carry gun. I was thinking of someone having one pistol, that they may want to carry. I didn’t mention brand or model to avoid a Ford vs. chevy discussion.