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President Obama, After Reading AttackWatch.com Submissions, Realizes He Actually Does Suck
Pajamas Media ^ | 9/25/2011 | Sunny

Posted on 09/25/2011 5:01:10 AM PDT by IbJensen

This month, amid much controversy, Team Obama launched AttackWatch.com, a new website ostensibly designed to compile and refute all arguments against President Obama’s policies and actions in preparation for the 2012 campaign. Little did they know that instead of helping to launch campaigns against Obama’s critics, provide counter-arguments for statists, and generally support the president, the site would backfire, and Obama himself would realize he actually does suck.

AttackWatch, not really sinister, just designed to look that way.

“After reading all the complaints about me, compiled all together like that, I realized, I am a s**tty president after all,” said Obama. “The logic of the arguments, the reasoning, were just too plain-as-the-nose-on-my-face to ignore.” Obama went on to remark, “I had no idea I sucked so bad. That’s why I just kept doing the same stuff! I thought socialism was working. Everybody was saying it was working.”

"Oh s*it! I really do suck!"

AttackWatch.com submissions include criticisms of the president’s foreign policy of appeasement, the high unemployment rate, ObamaCare, inflation, the long, drawn-out recession, the anti-business nature of his administration, the nationalization of business, the crony capitalism, and much, much, much, much, much, much, much more.

Political pundits across the nation are calling it a severely damaging miscalculation by campaign strategists to provide a giant collage of arguments against Obama, and especially, to let him see it. An MSNBC reporter stated anonymously today, “The problem is, the voices against Obama are unfortunately based on the facts of reality. They use sound logic and reason when they decry the president’s policies, actions, and even his core ideology. I had to stop reading it. It’s incredibly hard to evade reality when you’re reading that site. Even for us journalists.”

Because you're good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like you!!

Top White House aides are reportedly scrambling to convince the president that he is mistaken and that he’s actually a good president. White House insiders say AttackWatch.com has been blocked on his computer and BlackBerry, as well as all conservative blogs and the Ayn Rand Institute web site. Further, he has been sequestered by his advisors in what is being called a “re-programming” effort. To quote one insider, “They have taken the president into a room with all his friends and advisors, and several members of the press, and they are all just repeating over and over to him how good he is and how he’s a great president. Once in a while they all just clap, you know, give him a spontaneous standing ovation. Everybody loves a standing O’! They’re telling him he is on the right track, that all this trouble is the fault of capitalism, Bush, the Tea Party, or Vladamir Putin. (No one likes that guy.) It’s dicey, but they think they can bring him back around.”

Yay! You're great Obama! Yes you can! Yes you can!

It remains to be seen what sort of president will emerge from the re-programming. Will we get another speech saying that we should tax the wealthy and spend it on construction jobs or will we get a decidedly different, humbled president, who looks back on his first few years in office with a shudder? No one can yet say.

When asked to comment on these developments, Republican front-runner Rick Perry said glibly, “I would never, ever allow all the solid arguments against my ideas and actions to be put in one place where anyone, including, or dare I say especially, me, could see them. That he did allow that just shows how Obama is not fit to lead this country. What a dummy!”


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: adiosbozo; attackwatch; evilregime; obozo; whitehutsiege
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Ridicule is our best weapon.
1 posted on 09/25/2011 5:01:13 AM PDT by IbJensen
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To: IbJensen
Let Obama deal with this!!!!


2 posted on 09/25/2011 5:10:26 AM PDT by Erik Latranyi
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To: IbJensen

Time to call call Rev. Wright’s hate line for more inspiration. ;-)


3 posted on 09/25/2011 5:11:08 AM PDT by Average Al (Forbidden fruit leads to many jams.)
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To: IbJensen

Oooo-ba-ma. Oooo-ba-ma. Oooo-ba-ma. Oooo-ba-ma.

That even sounds s*&^ty. Another coming up for Attckwatch. LOL


4 posted on 09/25/2011 5:14:48 AM PDT by healy61
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To: IbJensen

POLITICIANS: Flush-Ready For We The People!
-GyG
*****


5 posted on 09/25/2011 5:17:50 AM PDT by gunnyg ("A Constitution changed from Freedom, can never be restored; Liberty, once lost, is lost forever...)
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To: IbJensen

Excelent, priceless! Thanks for posting.


6 posted on 09/25/2011 5:23:58 AM PDT by Upstate NY Guy
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Comment #7 Removed by Moderator

To: IbJensen

Can’t believe he has allowed reality to finally hit him in the face...I really do suck.


8 posted on 09/25/2011 6:16:11 AM PDT by shield (Rev 2:9 Woe unto those who say they are Judahites and are not, but are of the syna GOG ue of Satan.)
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To: IbJensen

I can’t believe more here aren’t all over this article, as well.


9 posted on 09/25/2011 6:17:30 AM PDT by shield (Rev 2:9 Woe unto those who say they are Judahites and are not, but are of the syna GOG ue of Satan.)
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To: IbJensen
You forgot to include this.

Disclaimer: This is satire. All interviews, speculations, quotes, and exclamations were obtained in the 4th dimension, in the world of what might have been. It is not to be regarded as a reflection of what any actual, 1st dimension, i.e., reality right now, people or persons said in real life, for real. In other words, it’s all fake.

http://pajamasmedia.com/lifestyle/2011/09/25/president-obama-after-reading-attackwatch-com-submissions-realizes-he-actually-does-suck/?singlepage=true

10 posted on 09/25/2011 6:18:34 AM PDT by CynicalBear
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To: IbJensen
What's even more funny is that much of what was said in that article is all true.

Indeed, AttackWatch.com became a joke even among many Democrats....

11 posted on 09/25/2011 6:19:10 AM PDT by RayChuang88 (FairTax: America's economic cure)
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To: IbJensen

>>> Ridicule is our best weapon. >>>

AMEN, and Attack Watch has proven that for all to see - and to laugh at.
(Actually, the masses who responded to Attack Watch were much funnier than this piece.)


12 posted on 09/25/2011 6:26:01 AM PDT by C. Edmund Wright
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To: IbJensen

“Everybody loves a standing O”
I would much prefer a resigned or impeached “O”.
Great satire.


13 posted on 09/25/2011 6:34:47 AM PDT by certrtwngnut
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To: shield

This is a joke. No way would a narcissist like Obama ever think they sucked.

he does of course, but he still thinks he is Caesar.


14 posted on 09/25/2011 6:46:08 AM PDT by Venturer
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To: IbJensen
Photobucket
15 posted on 09/25/2011 6:50:58 AM PDT by baddog 219
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To: IbJensen
Trike Boy
16 posted on 09/25/2011 6:57:58 AM PDT by FrankR (What you resist...PERSISTS!)
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To: IbJensen
It appears the guy sucks at everything, even sucking.

OBAMA -THE THRILL IS GONE

17 posted on 09/25/2011 6:58:39 AM PDT by BobP (The piss-stream media - Never to be watched again in my house)
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To: IbJensen

Thanks for posting it made my day and week.


18 posted on 09/25/2011 7:39:22 AM PDT by Rappini (Pro Deo et Patria)
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To: IbJensen; LucyT; Bikkuri; faucetman; ColdOne; wintertime; Fred Nerks; null and void; PhilDragoo; ...
Ping................

President Obama, After Reading AttackWatch.com Submissions, Realizes He Actually Does Suck

Once in a while they all just clap, you know, give him a spontaneous standing ovation. Everybody loves a standing O’!

Sounds to me as the typical liberal treatment for kindergarten child to help his self-esteem!

So, everybody loves a standing O'. I say, everybody hates a bending 0' (b0z0!)

The bending O' means something different that is bending Over, something he always does.

19 posted on 09/25/2011 7:46:58 AM PDT by melancholy (0b0z0's '12 campaign slogan: Read My Lips, Nooo...Newwww...Joooobs.)
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To: melancholy; Jet Jaguar; Lady Jag; Slings and Arrows; maggief; Dog; BP2; Candor7; martin_fierro; ...

thanks! here’s links to her funny videos..I left out the Sarah Palin one, I didn’t think that was so funny...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0HBTYwoS2g&feature=player_embedded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-48GrCx-49c&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dj_gSApq3xY&feature=player_embedded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Hb-EQkGBQs&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fQAjl59zaU&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hJzueOIe2k&feature=related


20 posted on 09/25/2011 8:36:52 AM PDT by bitt ( Obama is so unpopular now that the Kenyans say he was definitely born in Hawaii)
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