I saw someone purposely squeeze the Charmin in the grocery store
My sister keeps going over the imaginary line in the back seat and poking me. Make her stop touching me!
The major polls show that your approval ratings are through the floor. Please investigate the pollsters.
I have hairy toe knuckles. Does that automatically make me a Hobbit? Not an emergency, just curious.
Do we need to report the 240...er, 242 GOP members of the House individually or as a group?
I'm responsible for embroidering "One nation, under God" on my kid's varsity jacket. You should have a look at me
A company here has wooden pencils. Tell Barry O. pls send the Fish & Wildlife Dept to arrest 'em.
Some woman standing next to Obama at Ground Zero said, "They're doing all this for the FLAG?" And then made a grimacing face.
My neighbor threw a plastic soda bottle in the trash can instead of the recycling bin!
Pinocchio wants his nose back...please help
There is a man at 1600 penn. ave who took the $ my employer was going to spend giving me a raise.
My roommate used the restroom and did NOT put the toilet seat down. Please help
Wolf Blitzer's mind has been taken over by sinister Tea Party forces. Appears to have re-energized him--now a giddy school boy.
My seven year old daughter refuses to give up her fair share of her piggybank to pay for the jobs bill. Who do I contact?
New Obama jobs plan #AttackWatch a place to turn in your family friends neighbors. Now taking applications. An #EEO website/company
Urgent!!! Some bossy black lady with a large caboose just took my ice cream cone!!!
the cashier at mcdonald's was very rude to me today. Clearly this makes them communists. You must investigate
Guy in my office just called Obama "stupid" Should I tweet his name, address, age and phone #? Or, will U contact me directly?
yesterday i was walking around singing obama got run over by a reindeer, walking home from kenya xmas eve
If I see an attack should I watch it? Should I tweet first or try and stop the attack and then tweet?
I just informed #attackwatch that I saw 8 folks on TV Monday night saying bad things about the President
I would like to report #JonHuntsman for trying to make jokes at the #CNNTeaParty debate. They weren't funny. Please help.
Dear #AttackWatch I made Obama proud today. I took my kid’s birthday money and redistributed to her friends…
I seen a car speeding this am with a Bush sticker on it
Dear #attackwatch Lucas added voice to Darth Vader throwing the Emp in Jedi, can you do something about that?
Dear #AttackWatch I’m reporting marshmallows. They think they’re so superior with their white sugary goodness. Clearly racists.
Notice: Anyone seen dropping gum on the street should be reported to @Attackwatch immediately for reeducation.
I wish to report that she doesn't clean the litter box as often as I like. The environmental disasters I must contend with!