I had this idea...if you can’t afford to have a child, don’t have sex and have a child. Then I thought, if you aren’t married, don’t have sex and have a child. Just an idea.
Many of the men affected by this were married when the child(ren) was/were born and later divorced. She won’t allow visitation, he doesn’t have the money for an attorney, but they expect the child support to keep rolling in. I’m sure many of us know people in situations like this and with other issues. Is every male in the United States who is a non-custodial parent in the wrong?
Without any data that shows this is always the case, and there is no other reason that spouses walk off, this is presumptuous high horsing.
Sometimes you can afford a child and then life happens and then you can’t afford them. Sometimes you can afford a home, a car, a computer, etc and life happens and you can no longer afford them.
I hope you never find yourself in such circumstances.
You beat me to it!!
My sister got lucky.
Married a yuppie.
Took him for all he was worth.
—Tom Petty.
I saw this actually happen to a guy.
Oh, please. Did you read the article? People had children when they were married, had jobs, and could afford them easily. Then the recession hit. They lost their jobs. Eventually even the most prudent person runs out of money. Especially when a vindictive ex and her lawyers is jumping up and down on him, demanding every penny and then some, so that there’s nothing left to buy food with.
I am writing this as a divorced woman who has seen how unjust the system is toward fathers, and has taken GREAT care not to take advantage of my own ex.
yep, but the bell has already rung, or you are closing the barn door after the horse is already out..........
I had this idea...if you don't know the facts, don't spout off like you do.
I have a friend who had a child 16 years ago, while properly married. The marriage didn't last, and the ex-wife (as usual) got custody, with my friend having the burden of child support. So far, so good - he had no problem with supporting his child. Now fast forward to 2 years ago: my friend's business went bust, and he was doing all that he could to support his 2nd wife and their 2 kids. He didn't have enough money to pay the child support on a timely basis. Oh, and to make it worse, his prior employer was supposed to garnish wages and send them to the state - but didn't do so, and also didn't pay my friend the money. Despite that, he borrowed money and appeared at court to pay it back, in full (being about 2 months behind). His bitch ex-wife, from a very wealthy family, asked the judge to throw him in jail. My friend's lawyer said that if he was in jail that he couldn't earn any money to pay child support, and wasn't the whole point of the exercise to see that the child was supported? Further, he asked why it was the fault of my friend that his ex-employer took money from his pay and didn't pay the state. Too bad, said the (female) judge, off to jail you go. He got out 6 weeks later and 15 pounds lighter, only after he had been forced to agree to give up all of his parental rights, including the very name that his daughter carried. Meanwhile, his present wife and kids had to go on food stamps, and he only kept his job out of sheer luck that his boss was a thoroughly decent human being.
Don't tell me that the system is only full of irresponsible people - it is also full of decent people who, because of circumstances beyond their control become victims of a twisted and biased system that allows vindictive ex-spouses to call the shots. You want to know why a lot of men refuse to commit to women with marriage? Our incredibly biased family law system is the main reason.
this doesn't even qualify as naive.
There was no common sense on the bench as the judge then ruled that he was not allowed to leave the state to take a job so he could pay his child support until he was current with his child support.
In the end the ex wife gave him the money to get current so he wouldn't end up in jail and be even more behind.
The situation was totally ridiculous.
You sound kinda like a monster. Either that or you didn’t read the article.
Michael Jackson agrees:
If You Cant Feed Your Baby (Yeah, Yeah)
Then Don’t Have A Baby (Yeah, Yeah)
I had this idea...if you can’t afford to have a child, don’t have sex and have a child. Then I thought, if you aren’t married, don’t have sex and have a child. Just an idea.
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Exactly...
As others have said already, it’s not as simple as that. When I had my son, we were doing well and I had no notion that my marriage was going to end in a nasty, financially destructive divorce. Paraphrasing Clark Gable, frankly, the courts don’t give a damn. They impose a child support obligation based on your income history, regardless of the fact that your disposable income shrinks dramatically by virtue of having 2 households and an ex who is not exactly trying to be frugal with expenses she/he can impose on you. On top of that, it is not unusual, as happened in my case, that divorce was not a career enhancer: my earnings actually declined significantly because of all the added stress of the situation, including the demands of maintaining a strong relationship with my son under the constraints of “visitation”. Again, the courts generally don’t give a damn, while paying lip service to the idea that you might get a reduction in the child support based on “changed circumstances”. Most judges will only give a reduction if your reduced income is the result of some catastrophic event, such as a disabling injury.
Yes, there are folks who simply have kids without a clue about supporting them, but for a lot of parents in divorce that is just not the case.
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It is a free paycheck for state and the mothers...they get, for 24 years.
Up to 64% of the father's income - TAX FREE, under the table.
Free medical insurance for herself and their children...the state never will worry about paying for them.
Free Dental coverage for herself and their children....the state never will worry about paying for them.
Free life Insurance policy on the father....the state never will worry about paying for them, if the father dies.
1/2 tuition at the college of HER choice for their children....the state never will worry about paying for them.
Free babysitter service e/o weekend (father's visitation).
Free state and federal enforcement of the court orders....the state never will worry about paying for them.
The State picks up federal dollars for child support dollars collected. It's in the states best interest to have extremely high support calculations.
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Wow, just gotta love America's freeloading mothers, huh! And the idiotic people who have some kind hate for parents, like yourself.