Pull my finger!
Posted on 08/28/2011 2:13:59 PM PDT by Orange1998
Washington - The United States Marine Corps has banned audible farting in Afghanistan because it is culturally offensive to civilians working with the military and members of the Afghan National Army. The Military Times Marine Corps blog, Battle Rattle recently posted the news that "audible farting has been banned for some Marines downrange because it offends the Afghans."
The ban has caused a stir among former and current members of the military who question the reasoning behind the decision which has ignited a firestorm of comments from readers and fellow bloggers of Battle Rattle.
Military soldiers have already been required to obey regulations ordering them to not curse around members of the Afghan army or the civilians they encounter while on patrol. They are also under orders to not discuss women or politics with people from Afghanistan. But for now, breaking wind could earn them an appearance before their superior officers.
For the military that means no more gas blasters, bean bombers, flame-throwers or anal acoustics at night. The roar of morning thunder, air biscuits or flatulence by any name will no longer be tolerated. Anything but an inaudible passing of gas could get you in trouble if it's within earshot of an Afghani, according to Battle Rattle.
Blogger Gina Cavallaro writes about the ban on the offensive behaviour:
They’re not supposed to cuss because it could be misunderstood (that one goes out the window a lot). And they stay away from talking about politics, religion or girls because those topics could escalate into major disagreements (they can’t communicate anyway because of the language barrier).
But farting? That’s practically a sport. Ok, it’s not soccer, but a good contest could open the door for cross-cultural exchanges, jokes and other gallows humor.
Jim Campbell expressed his outrage over the decision by senior military officials and wrote: "So now we understand that Muslims in Afghanistan are offended by the sound of anal gas explosions but are quite comfortable with, beheading, stoning, female genital mutilation, pedophilia, amputations, and hanging or burning homosexuals."
A few commenter's asked, "What would Chesty think of this ban on farting?" Referring to Lieutenant General Lewis B. 'Chesty' Puller, the most highly decorated Marine in the history of the Corps. Puller, who was known a marine's Marine, had a no-nonsense attitude when it came to military conduct. He is known to every Marine who ever came out of Parris Island and served in the Corps.
Dian5 said, "Is this perfectly normal human function offensive only when it escapes from the body of an American? Are the natural born Afghanistan people immune from this digestive dilemma? If we are at the point in our relationship where this has become too offensive to ignore, then perhaps we have worn out our welcome and should immediately withdraw our troops."
The ban on farting has not been confirmed by the military and no mention of flatulence could be found in the Uniform Code of Military Justice.
Silent but deadly. Seals can still kill you.
It’s not our guys’ fault the locals can’t make those noises anymore because of all the buggery.
it’s the MRE’s
what do they expect ?
Better MRE’s
Yup. Time to redeploy the old SBD. Mark IV Tactical.
WTF, really ! I forgot, this is under the Obama administration ! Political correctness run amok !
Some weapons are more deadly when you employ a silencer! I hope some of these guys go into a mosque and cropdust the whole place........
Shouldn’t this mean that no politician can speak or breathe on a Marine base anymore?
One of my favorite ways to liven up a midwatch on the bridge was to stroll behind the helmsman and lee helmsman and let a good one rip. They were my preferred victims because they couldn’t move from their stations.
Farding at 1400 yds.
I’m shocked that the military has not invented an acronym for this bodily function.
You know it’s time to pull out of a country when you can’t even fart on the locals anymore.
Let’s just nuke the friggin’ place and be done with it.
Yes I remember Eisenhower had the same edict in WW2 and Westmoreland in Vietnam as well.
Afghan Underarm Fart Music
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIPui7n14Zk
If we had only known about this a few years ago, we could have carpet bombed Tora Bora with whoopee cushions and run Al Queda and the Taliban out of the country for good!
&ct... Us mid-level NCOs will be rembered. Not always nicely.
/johnny
It’s the fear of offending islam during the ‘holy’ season of Ramadan.
I for one, say no, heck no! For to fart,to some, it is the essence of the of freedom. Applied freedom in all of our lives, without a counterweight. Farting with impunity is no sheer folly! It is applied physiology, an impending requirement in all of us. The marines of Afghanistan deserve no less. So...fart on, brothers, fart on.
Pull my finger!
I’m shocked that the military has not found a way to weaponize the Mark 1 Rump Blaster. Some might dispute that, given the show that’s often served.
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